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[Alexandr Korol]

my animals would had food on my farm, nobody would be looking for me, and everything would be fine. But I always had such a contingency plan in theory, in quotation marks. I also understood that if I suddenly had a spiritual or psychological crisis, if I lost the inspiration to write books, I also knew that if I did not ground myself but let my nature be, I would be covered by the “cosmos”, so I always had that approach.

Why did I have these thoughts at that time? Because I realised that I was muting myself. I realised that I was living in this world of people, that I was forcing myself here, and I realised that there could always be consequences. And that if, what if, you have to go back down your rabbit hole where my world is, where everything is magical. It’s always been like that in theory. I’ve always reassured myself with that, or told some of my friends that I have that as a backup plan. And since April, nothing bad has happened, just circumstances, and I’d put it all down to the fact that I’m in another country: no friends, no acquaintances, no one. I’m alone, and why shouldn’t I leave, in fact “fly off into the “cosmos”” to the full? I decided to do that. And then I gave up alcohol, I gave up coke, I gave up social networks. Before, I could still go somewhere on a social network or reply to someone. But here I just deleted everything. I also realised that I needed to surround myself with everything that was happening to me. So I got out my prayers and of course I meditated. Of course I started to get the most heartbreaking, deep-hearted music, and only that and nothing else. So that there would be no such thing as this and that. This is the mistake that people make when they go to see Donnie Darko to feed their soul and then immediately turn on a Russian TV series. No, you close yourself off with that Russian TV series, no matter how much you listen to or watch before or after it. Do you get it? It turns out that you have to eradicate everything incomprehensible that can ground you. I’ve eliminated all that. Also, I’ve come to it so much that I’ve realised that I’m the one who gets me the most. When the angel lays his hand on me? When I’m writing books. And one day I got into three of my mobile phones. I have a bunch of notes. These notes are these raw chapters. I look at what I’ve written down and I start writing about it. I write a chapter like this, and a second, and a third, and a fourth. I get even more excited. And it turns out that I have, after all, adapted to this rhythm of people, society and everyday life, and entered the