I’ve been feeling really turbulent, in a good way. Yesterday I was supposed to call Mystic-Old-Man, and I was just so exhausted that I couldn’t wait, couldn’t do anything, couldn’t write, even though I really wanted to. I just went to bed as early as I’ve ever gone to bed. And slept as much as I’ve ever slept.
So many discoveries of all kinds, it’s endless. And I couldn’t write anything down, couldn’t remember anything, because I was too much in the “cosmos”. Yesterday I had a massage with a friend. When the massage was over, I told him where to go next and that he should take me there because I was not thinking clearly. I told him I couldn’t go back yet into my normal self. And I told him what I had heard, what I had seen, so that when it all faded away, I could recreate it somehow. I can ask him and he will tell me everything I have told him. But for now I’ll just describe what I remember.
It was like this: I went to get a massage and a man started pressing on my leg, the masseur pressed on my leg and I felt pain. And I’m like, “What the heck, why the heck am I feeling pain?” And I really do. In half a minute or a minute I stop feeling pain. So the sensation... Those who like to fantasise, to imagine, would say it’s like stepping out of the body. But of course that’s not true. It’s such an illusory imagination, let’s say. And what I did was that I just sort of switched on the other me and it was as if I became different, so much so that it was as if the body was separate, I was being massaged and I was somewhere. And I relaxed my body in a minute like I’ve never done before in my life. All by myself. At first I was amazed at how tense and blocked my body was. And the masseur noticed it too. And you know, when the massage is over, everyone likes different massages, of course. I love Thai massages. And when the massage is over, they ask you to stand up, I mean sit down. If you sit like Pinocchio, if you have straight legs, and you sit on the floor with straight legs. I can’t do that. I’ve been so crook- ed since I was a child that my legs are always bent at the knees; otherwise, if I straighten them up when I sit on the floor, I fall down. And here I was sitting calmly like this, can you imagine? So for me it’s like “wow”.
So I was basically talking to myself. You know, this voice. And I asked a lot of questions about you, about friends, about acquaintances, about myself, about the structure of everything. I was very curious. And I spent the whole two hours downloading information from it. This voice told me to give me some tips on how to lose weight, because I’ve gained a lot of weight, more than you can