Page 407

Alexandr Korol
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Page 407

Post by Alexandr Korol »

as usual, that if the print run ends, the publisher will just print more. But that’s not the case here, because I’m not working with a publisher — I’m doing it on my own. And again, I could have easily said: “Did you know that this book radiates energy like gemstones or places of power? Because I actually write about that in the book — so it also emits that kind of energy, like a talisman. You can even keep it at home or carry it with you as a charm. Actually, it’s even better to buy two — one to keep at home and one to always have with you. Because this is a materialized version of that story, now in hardcover.” I could’ve written all of that, right? I could’ve gathered all the reviews, all the people in awe, amazed by the book, talking about how their thoughts shut off when reading it. I could’ve done that, right? I’m ashamed to do it. Of course, I want to sometimes. And sometimes people try to convince me, or I really do have those thoughts — of course, when a demon tempts me. But then my conscience wakes up too and says, “No, this is disgraceful.” I don’t know where this quality in me comes from, that I consider this to be shameful and disgraceful. And there are people who, when they had that same feeling of shame, they shut it off in themselves and awakened the maximum level of brazenness instead. There are a lot of such people in society now, and they’ve become or are becoming successful because of it. But I can’t do that. I can’t. I have a conscience. It’s like something inside me that I can feel. They just don’t feel it, but I do. That thing I feel tells me, “No.” And yes, both Big Alexander and the voice told me, “Alex, don’t be so openly revealing about everything, don’t lay it all out so bluntly. Be a mystery. Don’t give everyone all the information at once.” And even the way I present information — I try to do it so that I don’t scare people, but also so that there’s no “wow” effect. I don’t like when people go into euphoria or are shocked. On the contrary, I always try to simplify everything, you know, just make it all feel easy. Aliens? Yeah, just regular people. Radiation? Any stone gives off some radiation. I always sort of downplay things, you know. Even myself — like, the way I look, I try to keep it simple. The cap a little dirtier than clean. I might even scuff my shoes a bit so they look slightly dirty. I don’t want that brightness, like something too polished — that feels wrong, like too much. Everything has an extreme, and I think aiming for perfection in everything is also an extreme. And yes, to this day I haven’t learned how to change that. Even now people comment about it to me. I’m trying to fight myself on it. It’s like a game of the mind — I’m constantly trying