Page 398

[Alexandr Korol]

will remember me, and everyone will be writing to me — oh, that is how it seems to me. That is, it means something will be happening in the world, because he said that all the old acquaintances will want to talk with me. He said: “Everyone will remember you and will be asking you about something.” And it will be something about life that everyone will be asking, that is how he put it. That too is very curious. Ah, he also said — I remember he had pointed this out before too — he once spoke to me about weight, and now he told me again about weight, that I must gain weight. Well, he said that it is not good to be thin, and “When it is necessary, you are thin, when it is necessary, you are fat,” that this is connected with something there, that it is some sort of protection in certain worlds. And that true spiritual monks, they overeat deliberately, and then, on the contrary, do not eat, and that I must not interfere with this. And that if I want to eat a lot, then I must certainly eat a lot, and if I do not want to eat at all, then I must not eat. And that if I am fat, I must accept it, that I must be fat. And right now, instead of being thin, I am swelling up and getting fat, imagine that? I understand, on the one hand, why — because it seems to me that the world of heaven, my thoughts are such, is a world where you are maximally relaxed. And here the rhythm is different, and the energy is different, and you have, as it were, no stresses at all, and nothing burns away, and you eat as if a little candy, but in the world of heaven it is as if ten burgers, seriously. And right now I am very fat, as never before. Truly, I even breathe heavily, with shortness of breath. It is just like in the movies when they show actors gaining weight for a role — right now I have gained weight for some role, I have a huge belly. And he said that this is how it must be. But he said that it is not because of the world of heaven and me being relaxed, but he said that fat is all some kind of protective thing, and that it means I need protection right now. And I supposed that maybe something is going to happen in the world, again some stresses will soon begin, or something else. And maybe that is why, so that I can take this blow, I must be this fat, because I supposed that people who are thin, they do not have this protection and they are weak, and so they get sick quickly and so on, those who are all skin and bones. That is, to be too fat is also an extreme and illness. To be too thin, bony — then immediately no immunity, you are frail.