Page 259

[Alexandr Korol]

“Stop thinking about the employee and how wrong he is. Think now about
your own situation, your own behavior, your own reaction.” They told me that
if I am who I am, or if I want to become who I want to become, then none of
this is logical. How can I react to such foolishness from some person and try
to prove something to him, talking about justice and injustice, if I plan to
become a deity? It’s illogical and I am wrong. So I questioned them further:

— Fine, but what was I supposed to do? A person does me wrong, and I say
‘Well done, keep going’ and even help him? Or what?

And they still explained that it’s not just that I shouldn’t have reacted to
him — by punishing or teaching him — it’s that beyond the outward actions,
I shouldn’t have even felt anything inside that suggested this touched
me. They repeated that if I want to become a deity and escape the trap of
humans, to move to a higher level and become something greater than a
human, then I shouldn’t be concerned with these human follies and trifles.
But I am clinging to them, grasping at them, whereas I must stop playing
these games; I must let go of all of it — all the human traits, their behavior,
these reactions. These things are not characteristic of a deity. That is what
they are telling me. And even though I understood, I didn’t fully realize it yet.
So I asked more questions with examples:

— Alright. But this employee — I’ve fired him now. We didn’t fight; he just
exhausted all his chances. I fired him. And now Mystic-Old-Man and Big
Alexander have both told me that I defeated the beast, and that this beast
is no longer in this employee. Is that so?
— Yes, it is so. But now you must pass an exam, the most important one:
the struggle with your own inner ‘self’.

That is exactly what they are saying. I have to perform the final “polishing”
of myself — learning how to respond correctly to everything. But I still resist
a little. I give them examples and say: