Page 164
Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2024 6:57 am
mersed in it, I gained real experience and knowledge and “packed” myself with information, as if I had adapted. My unique, strange, alien essence adapted, and each time it seemed to manifest more and more in me. And then it adapted in society, and adapted in such a way that if I said something unnecessary, it would immediately hit me on the head, so that I would watch my language and that it would all be competently packaged. And it happened every time. Of course, I could suppose that maybe I was losing myself, shutting myself off for some reason. Maybe because I was bored, and then I would get hit in the head again, and then I would open up and go into spirituality. Then that voice again. Then that spirit again. And it’s not clear if there’s an evolution, it should have always been that I should be sucked into this material world, but on the other hand....
I’ll tell you about it now. I mean, it turns out that I have gone into this society. And there are signs. Every other person offers business. Even the Big Alexander says: “Yes, yes, yes”. I find it strange that it’s coming from all directions again, like a conspiracy. I remember that in 2010, when I went through all the places of power, there were messengers, Big Alexander, and then in 2011 it was over. And it was as if the miracles had disappeared, as if I was back in society, as if there was nothing, as if everything had disappeared, as if nobody needed me. It was as if life was like that – every day I was living non-stop in some film and then suddenly everything disappeared. That’s what happened in 2010 and 2011. Winter, then spring, and at some point – I even put it that way at the time – it was as if the system was conspiring against me, because, imagine, relatives, friends and different neighbours, classmates, schoolmates, just from all sides saying the same text, one day, and everyone saying, “Alex, look at yourself. What do you look like? Alex, you have no private life, no job, no studies. You write obscure books, you don’t dress well. You have to become a human being. That’s what everyone told me. I told them to leave me alone and stop bothering me. I try to explain it to everyone, but it’s no use. And all with the complaint: “Enough of these silly, strange books you write. It won’t do you any good, you’ll be a poor beggar writer. You just get a proper job. You sit at home all the time, why don’t you get a girlfriend? Otherwise you just sit at home and don’t go out. You are too weird”. Everyone was nagging me like that. And in the end I decided, well, if that’s the case, then I have to immerse myself in this society to give people what
I’ll tell you about it now. I mean, it turns out that I have gone into this society. And there are signs. Every other person offers business. Even the Big Alexander says: “Yes, yes, yes”. I find it strange that it’s coming from all directions again, like a conspiracy. I remember that in 2010, when I went through all the places of power, there were messengers, Big Alexander, and then in 2011 it was over. And it was as if the miracles had disappeared, as if I was back in society, as if there was nothing, as if everything had disappeared, as if nobody needed me. It was as if life was like that – every day I was living non-stop in some film and then suddenly everything disappeared. That’s what happened in 2010 and 2011. Winter, then spring, and at some point – I even put it that way at the time – it was as if the system was conspiring against me, because, imagine, relatives, friends and different neighbours, classmates, schoolmates, just from all sides saying the same text, one day, and everyone saying, “Alex, look at yourself. What do you look like? Alex, you have no private life, no job, no studies. You write obscure books, you don’t dress well. You have to become a human being. That’s what everyone told me. I told them to leave me alone and stop bothering me. I try to explain it to everyone, but it’s no use. And all with the complaint: “Enough of these silly, strange books you write. It won’t do you any good, you’ll be a poor beggar writer. You just get a proper job. You sit at home all the time, why don’t you get a girlfriend? Otherwise you just sit at home and don’t go out. You are too weird”. Everyone was nagging me like that. And in the end I decided, well, if that’s the case, then I have to immerse myself in this society to give people what