wake up on time, make business plans and carry out everything I had planned. That is the rhythm of the socio-material world. This world has many layers; I am now talking about focal points. So I bought many properties and took loans. It grounded me in a good way because I planned it consciously. I could have relationships that I was not allowed to have now. I could also have friendships. So I grounded myself in the material world by using tools consciously. But I am an exception. I have a different mission from the rest of the people. When I entered a world, I always wanted to anchor myself there. I could do that easily, but sometimes I wanted to stay there and be comfortable. Like any other person, you know? I always wanted to get away from all this spiritual staff. Can you imagine that? It was strange and funny to me that people thought I was an esoteric person. I used to tell people: “All these esoteric people are strange; they are weirdos with their weird books. I am not like that. I am an ordinary, modern young man from St Petersburg. This mystical subject has been with me since my early childhood, but I don’t care about it. I don’t want any of it. I just want to be an ordinary person”. So you see what my testimony is? There are people who are fanatically inspired by all this. I am not like that. I wanted a conventional life. I am like Harry Potter – I always have some magical signs like an owl flying in my window or a Rubeus Hagrid coming in my door. Fascinating. Always something. Flashes and sparkles everywhere. Wands everywhere. The world is alive and quirky. When magic happens, I can’t hide from it, but I always want- ed to. I wanted to be normal and not have all this magic going on around me. I thought that if I surrounded myself with the material elements, I could turn off my clairvoyance. I hoped that if I could completely immerse myself in a material rhythm, I could shut myself down. I collected elements that anchored me to the material frequency. I wanted to ‘sink’ into the material world.
I met a girl, bought a car and a dog and lived in the suburbs. I wanted to stop writing books, can you imagine? I wanted to go into the world of family and relationships and I didn’t want anything else, really. It’s true, I just wanted to have children and a family, cats and dogs, and a simple human job. Having a job is very easy for me. I have never worried about it. I can always earn enough money to cover my needs. But I have never been able to get all that. As soon as I started to build up that kind of lifestyle, the system or some higher powers would destroy it for me in a day or two. And I would become a zero again, with no friends,