Page 437
Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2024 12:01 pm
And nobody taught me that. I was just born with it in a normal family. So of course my parents and all my relatives are shocked, and they don’t understand me, they’re afraid of me, they think I’m a strange guy, an alien. I mean, even they don’t have the words to explain who I am. And they don’t really know who I am. To them, I’m just a writer who writes strange books. What will the relatives say? Just that I’m alive and well, that’s all. Seriously. That’s how they see me.
And I was looking for a way out, really, it’s what you ask about, to understand where this way out is, where this door is, where this source is, or who will meet me once in my life and explain to me who I am and where I am. So that you understand, you are also deluded in this. Not Big Alexander, not Mystic-Old-Man, not Valentina, no one has told me who I am. No one has. They just give me the benefit of the doubt. But they’re not allowed to tell. And the point is, I’ve been on this incredible adventure all this time. I don’t understand what the point is. And when I was little, I actually thought at some points that maybe I was really not in the right mind. But it turns out that I’m fine. You are a cuckoo if you attack people and bite their legs. Then those really are cuckoos. I may be fantasising about all this, what I’m fantasising about now, but at the same time it’s not as if I can’t express myself clearly. If I didn’t work and was a lazy bum, it would be questionable. But there is no way I could have imagined all this and there is no weight and power behind it. You can see for yourself that there is weight and power behind it. Even if you judge me by human, material and basic standards, you can see how serious I am. I’m not a cuckoo. So people are cuckoo, or the world is cuckoo, but I’m not. It’s not like I’m out in the streets catching fairies with a butterfly net and people are making videos of me and posting them and calling me a psycho. I’m some kind of genius. And I don’t know why. Literally. I am a genius to such an extent that nobody, including scientists, can understand who I am. The world is asleep right now and everyone, even the scientists, have fallen under the influence of society and have shut down so that they cannot understand what I see, what I have found out, what I know and who I am. No one sees me at all and everyone is blind. I have always felt alone in this world and that hasn’t changed. And I want to say, “Thank you very much. I’d go crazy if it wasn’t for this small percentage of my readers”. Seriously. I’d be a drunk. Why is that? Well, because, imagine, if I didn’t have my readers, all the people around me would be posh idiots. And they’d be like, “Hey, Alex, what’s up?
And I was looking for a way out, really, it’s what you ask about, to understand where this way out is, where this door is, where this source is, or who will meet me once in my life and explain to me who I am and where I am. So that you understand, you are also deluded in this. Not Big Alexander, not Mystic-Old-Man, not Valentina, no one has told me who I am. No one has. They just give me the benefit of the doubt. But they’re not allowed to tell. And the point is, I’ve been on this incredible adventure all this time. I don’t understand what the point is. And when I was little, I actually thought at some points that maybe I was really not in the right mind. But it turns out that I’m fine. You are a cuckoo if you attack people and bite their legs. Then those really are cuckoos. I may be fantasising about all this, what I’m fantasising about now, but at the same time it’s not as if I can’t express myself clearly. If I didn’t work and was a lazy bum, it would be questionable. But there is no way I could have imagined all this and there is no weight and power behind it. You can see for yourself that there is weight and power behind it. Even if you judge me by human, material and basic standards, you can see how serious I am. I’m not a cuckoo. So people are cuckoo, or the world is cuckoo, but I’m not. It’s not like I’m out in the streets catching fairies with a butterfly net and people are making videos of me and posting them and calling me a psycho. I’m some kind of genius. And I don’t know why. Literally. I am a genius to such an extent that nobody, including scientists, can understand who I am. The world is asleep right now and everyone, even the scientists, have fallen under the influence of society and have shut down so that they cannot understand what I see, what I have found out, what I know and who I am. No one sees me at all and everyone is blind. I have always felt alone in this world and that hasn’t changed. And I want to say, “Thank you very much. I’d go crazy if it wasn’t for this small percentage of my readers”. Seriously. I’d be a drunk. Why is that? Well, because, imagine, if I didn’t have my readers, all the people around me would be posh idiots. And they’d be like, “Hey, Alex, what’s up?