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[Alexandr Korol]

my head. It’s really strange. I mean, nothing at all. I had more images in my head that I wasn’t there somehow, that it’s like I’m feeling it but from the outside. But it’s like I’m not there; I’m either dead or on another planet. It’s like I’m not there, but humanity – it’s like I feel it – they’re all discussing my books in shock. That happens a lot. Imagine getting that into your head. And lately it’s kind of slipped into my head. As if the time would come, I just see an image that some people somewhere, either in an institute, somewhere in an office, somewhere in a meeting, are shocked by what I have written in my books, and as if they have no opportunity to talk to me, they are discussing among themselves: ‘Really, he knew this and that. That’s crazy. Who is he?” That’s the kind of thing that goes through my head a lot. This is what will happen to people later, when it comes to everybody. But I’ll be gone. And it’s like when I look at them, it’s like I’m looking at them as some kind of consciousness. Like I can feel them doing it, but I’m not physically there. It’s like I can see them standing there discussing it. When they think of me, I feel it in my consciousness. But my consciousness is somewhere else.
And it is also strange. I wrote about how Big Alexander somehow, also through me, tries to compare a lot: what will start and when it will happen. He does not get all the information either. And it surprised me when he asked me this question a few months ago: “Have you seen yourself in Karelia, when everything happens that you are waiting for, and here you are in Karelia, and here you are young? I said: “Like now, well, roughly, not old”. He says, “Well, good.” It was as if he was worried or wanted to clarify that if something happened, it might happen in 50 years when I was old in Karelia. And he asked me how I saw myself in Karelia at that moment. Young or old? He took that to heart. For some reason I never saw myself as old.
But one thing I like is that... You know, some people here might think that knowing what I know and having the information that I have, how am I not crazy about this? And I would say that, you know, it’s like this nervousness and psychosis – it doesn’t depend on what you know or don’t know. It’s just that there are nervous-psychotic people; they have such a nervous system, and even be- cause of a cartoon they can go crazy. It’s just that there are people like that. And there are people who are psychologically stable, who do not show it, who do not say it, who do not lose their adequacy. And I just have this adequacy. And that,