Page 15
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2024 11:15 am
And if I forbid myself food, then I’ll want something else. So what happens next... I told him:
– I called you over because I feel good right now, it’s like I found a way to use up my energy, and there’s a lot of it, and I want to release it somewhere. You’re acting as a silencer for me right now. But when you leave, I’ll start fidgeting because I’ll need to do something with myself. But the book I’ve been editing and writing is finished. So what should I do with myself? The only answer is creativity. I should start painting. Well, since nothing else is allowed, and I can’t watch movies endlessly. And I’ve been numbing myself a little with music. Remember how in the books I talked about how, when I’m “cosmos”, I can’t be in silence, because I need to occupy myself with something. It’s like I shift my attention somewhere. But people who are closed off, they don’t even care if there’s music or not – they can just sit in silence. But when you’re super open, in this new matrix, it’s like you need music, so you can at least orient yourself somewhere, direct your attention to some vibrations. That’s why I turned on music first thing in the morning. But essentially, I need to reach a level now... and again, I’ve already been there, I’ve already experienced it all, I just need to describe it step by step again, I’m going through it from scratch. I need to reach a level where I don’t need music, I don’t need films, I don’t need to talk to anyone, and I won’t be drawn to the phone or a snack. I’ll just sit here and now, and that’s it.
This is what I told him – what I’m experiencing and doing right now. It’s like a whole instruction manual on how a person transitions from one set of vibrations to another, from one matrix to a new matrix. I’m supposed to record all of this as it happens to me, which is what I’m doing now. Then I told him that when he leaves, I’ll be left figuring out what to do with myself. And while I’m still here, still slightly closed off, I’m comparing what’s there and what’s here. That’s important too, and it’s all for the greater good. And I told him:
– It’s so unusual, that new world, the one I’m supposed to move to. It’s like I’m moving things there now, while I still have the chance, while I haven’t fully left the old apartment yet and haven’t settled into the new one. I’m talking about the matrix, society, and the new spiritual frequency, that new world. I’m still moving back and forth, figuring out what’s there and what’s not, and what’s here
– I called you over because I feel good right now, it’s like I found a way to use up my energy, and there’s a lot of it, and I want to release it somewhere. You’re acting as a silencer for me right now. But when you leave, I’ll start fidgeting because I’ll need to do something with myself. But the book I’ve been editing and writing is finished. So what should I do with myself? The only answer is creativity. I should start painting. Well, since nothing else is allowed, and I can’t watch movies endlessly. And I’ve been numbing myself a little with music. Remember how in the books I talked about how, when I’m “cosmos”, I can’t be in silence, because I need to occupy myself with something. It’s like I shift my attention somewhere. But people who are closed off, they don’t even care if there’s music or not – they can just sit in silence. But when you’re super open, in this new matrix, it’s like you need music, so you can at least orient yourself somewhere, direct your attention to some vibrations. That’s why I turned on music first thing in the morning. But essentially, I need to reach a level now... and again, I’ve already been there, I’ve already experienced it all, I just need to describe it step by step again, I’m going through it from scratch. I need to reach a level where I don’t need music, I don’t need films, I don’t need to talk to anyone, and I won’t be drawn to the phone or a snack. I’ll just sit here and now, and that’s it.
This is what I told him – what I’m experiencing and doing right now. It’s like a whole instruction manual on how a person transitions from one set of vibrations to another, from one matrix to a new matrix. I’m supposed to record all of this as it happens to me, which is what I’m doing now. Then I told him that when he leaves, I’ll be left figuring out what to do with myself. And while I’m still here, still slightly closed off, I’m comparing what’s there and what’s here. That’s important too, and it’s all for the greater good. And I told him:
– It’s so unusual, that new world, the one I’m supposed to move to. It’s like I’m moving things there now, while I still have the chance, while I haven’t fully left the old apartment yet and haven’t settled into the new one. I’m talking about the matrix, society, and the new spiritual frequency, that new world. I’m still moving back and forth, figuring out what’s there and what’s not, and what’s here