Page 207
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2024 1:03 pm
whatever you like. How can I describe this at the moment? Today I had two people over, and I told them that out of nowhere, without doing anything for it, I just wake up one day, and my mind is very clear. This doesn’t mean it wasn’t clear before, but it feels like it has become clearer. It’s like... you know, when an air conditioner was making noise, and you turn it off, and it’s like your head cools off from the noise. It rests. It’s like the noise has disappeared. I thought, how strange, what is this? Such clarity, as if you perceive the apartment, the room even more clearly, like in childhood. Then I noticed that when I tried to speak, I heard my voice not from above, as before, where it felt like my head was connected to something and I was reaching out upward, hearing something. But now it feels like this voice is inside me. In me. I thought, how strange. How can this be? And what is this? It wasn’t like this before. You know, it’s unclear. And this has been continuing for one day, then two, then three. Today, on the fourth day, I’m explaining to the guys, I say:
– Listen, it continues like this.
– What do you mean?
– It’s as if there’s no longer that connection, where it felt like you were connected to the “cosmos” with your head, as if you were in a flow, in a tube. There’s none of that! It’s as if the channel has turned off. As if the connection is gone. But I wouldn’t say that I’m closed off, like people close themselves off, or like I used to close myself off. I wouldn’t say that I’m material. I don’t have thoughts. It’s just as if all the energy starts from the chest and goes through the whole body, legs, arms, abdomen, everything. Except the head. And the head feels light. Very light, free, clear. And the body feels, on the contrary, inflated, as if in some aura, especially the chest and back. It’s as if before I was connected to a system around me or above me, but it seemed to be higher than me. And now it feels like I’m connected to a system inside me, or something like that. That’s how I feel it.
And maybe I’m choosing the wrong words, I’m encountering this for the first time. And when I was answering questions from the guys today, it felt like it was hard to answer because I’m not involved in this “Alternative History”, and it’s like it’s a dream that’s hard to recall. As if I’m not there, as if I’m someone else. It’s also very unusual.
– Listen, it continues like this.
– What do you mean?
– It’s as if there’s no longer that connection, where it felt like you were connected to the “cosmos” with your head, as if you were in a flow, in a tube. There’s none of that! It’s as if the channel has turned off. As if the connection is gone. But I wouldn’t say that I’m closed off, like people close themselves off, or like I used to close myself off. I wouldn’t say that I’m material. I don’t have thoughts. It’s just as if all the energy starts from the chest and goes through the whole body, legs, arms, abdomen, everything. Except the head. And the head feels light. Very light, free, clear. And the body feels, on the contrary, inflated, as if in some aura, especially the chest and back. It’s as if before I was connected to a system around me or above me, but it seemed to be higher than me. And now it feels like I’m connected to a system inside me, or something like that. That’s how I feel it.
And maybe I’m choosing the wrong words, I’m encountering this for the first time. And when I was answering questions from the guys today, it felt like it was hard to answer because I’m not involved in this “Alternative History”, and it’s like it’s a dream that’s hard to recall. As if I’m not there, as if I’m someone else. It’s also very unusual.