Page 209
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2024 1:04 pm
– Yeah. It’s like there was some tension in the head, like noise. And suddenly it was turned off.
– Well, imagine, when you were in that tension, you didn’t even notice it was in your head.
– Yes, and now it’s all gone.
What is this? I don’t know what this is. I feel so unusual. And also, for these four days, I haven’t been able to fall asleep until five in the morning. I have such clarity that I feel more focused, clear, and aware at night than ever before. But to give you some context, for the entire year before these four days, I was waking up very early, always working in the morning, and sleeping at night. And now, for some reason, I can’t fall asleep at night, to the point that I just lie there and seem to see and hear everything. At the same time, there are no thoughts, so I can just lie or sit for an hour, two, or three. No thoughts, just clarity. Strange. What is this? Maybe it’s some kind of power that’s been activated in me, and I don’t know what it is. But it’s definitely not something bad. I’m probably going to call Big Alexander and ask. But I don’t think he’ll say anything.
I could, in principle, wait for this state to pass. If I analyze it now, I understand that around February-March... Yes, it started in March and continues to this day, it’s as if I am traveling through all these multiverses, all versions of myself, trying to see them all, free myself from them, remember them, and understand how to return there. But while transitioning back and forth, it’s about identifying where you are, where you’re not, where your world is, where it isn’t, and this process probably involves some form of liberation.
And perhaps this is just another stage, where something is transforming within me and now something inside me has activated. When I described the world as a triangle, or circles overlapping each other, or even as a Matryoshka, what if we imagine the world of the underground as a small ball, the earthly world as a larger ball enveloping the first one, and then there’s an even bigger one enveloping it all? Figuratively speaking, there might be a system around me, a system I, and a system within me. Perhaps a similar system has activated within me as the one outside. I specifically feel a source of something inside me rather than around me, as before. What is this? Maybe something has possessed me. That’s why I don’t feel it above but within myself. I don’t understand. But inside, it feels like there’s a fire in my chest now. And my head is super clear, clearer than ever before. Although I always talk about clarity, this clarity seems different,
– Well, imagine, when you were in that tension, you didn’t even notice it was in your head.
– Yes, and now it’s all gone.
What is this? I don’t know what this is. I feel so unusual. And also, for these four days, I haven’t been able to fall asleep until five in the morning. I have such clarity that I feel more focused, clear, and aware at night than ever before. But to give you some context, for the entire year before these four days, I was waking up very early, always working in the morning, and sleeping at night. And now, for some reason, I can’t fall asleep at night, to the point that I just lie there and seem to see and hear everything. At the same time, there are no thoughts, so I can just lie or sit for an hour, two, or three. No thoughts, just clarity. Strange. What is this? Maybe it’s some kind of power that’s been activated in me, and I don’t know what it is. But it’s definitely not something bad. I’m probably going to call Big Alexander and ask. But I don’t think he’ll say anything.
I could, in principle, wait for this state to pass. If I analyze it now, I understand that around February-March... Yes, it started in March and continues to this day, it’s as if I am traveling through all these multiverses, all versions of myself, trying to see them all, free myself from them, remember them, and understand how to return there. But while transitioning back and forth, it’s about identifying where you are, where you’re not, where your world is, where it isn’t, and this process probably involves some form of liberation.
And perhaps this is just another stage, where something is transforming within me and now something inside me has activated. When I described the world as a triangle, or circles overlapping each other, or even as a Matryoshka, what if we imagine the world of the underground as a small ball, the earthly world as a larger ball enveloping the first one, and then there’s an even bigger one enveloping it all? Figuratively speaking, there might be a system around me, a system I, and a system within me. Perhaps a similar system has activated within me as the one outside. I specifically feel a source of something inside me rather than around me, as before. What is this? Maybe something has possessed me. That’s why I don’t feel it above but within myself. I don’t understand. But inside, it feels like there’s a fire in my chest now. And my head is super clear, clearer than ever before. Although I always talk about clarity, this clarity seems different,