of people. And they are tossed around, experiencing different things, with one thing awakening, then another, then another. And all these personalities, they all develop in parallel. Suppose you develop a subterranean personality, and you learn and make mistakes, realizing that you should have acted differently, been wiser. But you are still learning, you know, wisdom. Then you are thrown into the world of the heart. You gain your own benefits and also face disadvantages if you are not well-developed there. You might also receive a metaphorical slap on the wrist and learn how to be correct in the world of the heart, in the world of the sky. Later, you end up in the material world of the mind, the earth, the world of the earth, and you experience different desires, needs, and perspectives, as if you have a different mood, a different opinion. And you also become wiser and learn how to be even more wise in that world. And when you had certain thoughts about me and my books, if you remember over the past five or even ten years – you once had a material assessment of me. Who I am, what I am. You saw me and my books in a certain way. You had to grasp me intellectually, frame me within certain boundaries. And when your heart was activated, you truly believed. You believed in a way that was almost unbelievable, “wow.” And you felt that you were experiencing incredible inspiration from me, feeling like you were also a creative person. You understood how creative I was and how I awakened your heart. That was when you were in a period with your heart activated, and you perceived me and my books that way. You understand? At some point, perhaps your fearful side awakened. In that state, you began to doubt me, and you started to view everything oppositely. You began to see me as bad and my books as terrible. What seemed to give you so much in the light world now seemed to give you nothing in the dark. And such beliefs arose. Later, when you exited that state, and you saw that you had written to me that I was terrible, you were afraid because you had already activated your mind or heart, and you started writing apologies, saying, “Spare me, it wasn’t me, I don’t know what happened to me, it was madness.”
I want you to note how it was before and, in principle, how it is now. Previously, I mentioned that when I am alone, I am happy. But I also wanted to communicate with people. As a youth, I wanted to meet a girl, connect with friends, classmates, or friends from the neighborhood, summer camp, or country house. But almost every time, I wanted to cleanse and purify myself afterward, in 99% of the cases. It happened that when I was alone, it felt like living in a fairy tale, like in the movie “Big Fish” or “The Toy Store.” Everything was magical, cozy at home,