Page 353
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2024 2:30 pm
and I truly lost track of time. It felt like one continuous day. And you experience what people in the world of darkness experience as horror, but for you, it feels like miracles. In the light world, in this fourth dimension, in this “corridor”, you experience miracles. There are signs and wonders everywhere. It’s all paradoxes. I often wrote about this in my diaries.
And when I met someone, I noticed that I did nothing special for this, but if I met, figuratively speaking, one person, I would sharply feel how the shade of my perception of the world, reality, and myself changed. It was like the angle changed. When I was alone, I was not in these three worlds. I was in this “corridor”, in the fourth corner. But when I met someone, any person, I would enter one of the three corners, one of the worlds in which they live. And if this person was creative from the world of heart, from the world of heaven, then with them everything had more of an emphasis on creativity, on feelings, but it was still a different world from the “corridor”, from the fourth world. And how is it different? When I am alone in the “corridor”, in this fourth dimension, I am both super-intelligent and have a super-activated heart, but at the same time, I am like a secret agent or a superhero. You are super clear, with complete order in your feelings and thoughts. But when I entered the world of heart, it was like descending, however roughly it may sound, when meeting with a creative person, my attentiveness became weaker. My structuring and discipline became weaker. You see, some qualities were lost. And unregulated qualities like sensitivity emerged. People in the world of heart and creativity are more sensitive and vulnerable. They feel the world wonderfully, and it’s great that they can feel, but they can also go to extremes. They might not be punctual, are not structured, and can get very inspired, forgetting about everything else. And I became like that. It was still an extreme. Then, when I returned to my world, to the “corridor”, everything was back in order, clear, and you see the mistakes you made. I thought, “Well, I was influenced by the person. What can you do? But you need to interact with people.” And I understood that this was probably, as I was told a long time ago when I was little, empathy. I thought, “Well, probably, I felt the person and became like them.” And what happens next? Then I meet another person, and again, everything changes in perception. All your feelings and heart disappear, and you become more materialistic. You evaluate everything only materially, and there are no feelings. There is no magic. On one hand, it’s good that you have this tough, materialistic, and superficial attitude, but on the other hand, you realize it’s another extreme.
And when I met someone, I noticed that I did nothing special for this, but if I met, figuratively speaking, one person, I would sharply feel how the shade of my perception of the world, reality, and myself changed. It was like the angle changed. When I was alone, I was not in these three worlds. I was in this “corridor”, in the fourth corner. But when I met someone, any person, I would enter one of the three corners, one of the worlds in which they live. And if this person was creative from the world of heart, from the world of heaven, then with them everything had more of an emphasis on creativity, on feelings, but it was still a different world from the “corridor”, from the fourth world. And how is it different? When I am alone in the “corridor”, in this fourth dimension, I am both super-intelligent and have a super-activated heart, but at the same time, I am like a secret agent or a superhero. You are super clear, with complete order in your feelings and thoughts. But when I entered the world of heart, it was like descending, however roughly it may sound, when meeting with a creative person, my attentiveness became weaker. My structuring and discipline became weaker. You see, some qualities were lost. And unregulated qualities like sensitivity emerged. People in the world of heart and creativity are more sensitive and vulnerable. They feel the world wonderfully, and it’s great that they can feel, but they can also go to extremes. They might not be punctual, are not structured, and can get very inspired, forgetting about everything else. And I became like that. It was still an extreme. Then, when I returned to my world, to the “corridor”, everything was back in order, clear, and you see the mistakes you made. I thought, “Well, I was influenced by the person. What can you do? But you need to interact with people.” And I understood that this was probably, as I was told a long time ago when I was little, empathy. I thought, “Well, probably, I felt the person and became like them.” And what happens next? Then I meet another person, and again, everything changes in perception. All your feelings and heart disappear, and you become more materialistic. You evaluate everything only materially, and there are no feelings. There is no magic. On one hand, it’s good that you have this tough, materialistic, and superficial attitude, but on the other hand, you realize it’s another extreme.