Alexandr Korol

And during this period, I started to understand once again – because it’s all connected – that this whole situation, this is exactly like that painting, “Mara Tempts the Buddha”. And I realize that the provocations have begun again, and here’s that same theme being emphasized once more – that demons have always tested someone right before full enlightenment. And I understand that this trial has started again. I clearly see that higher forces are deliberately creating this illusion around me, and what do I start doing? Seriously, guys, I started reading the Bible, the beginning about the creation of the world, just to cross out all these influences. I try in every possible way to break free from this effect. To give you an idea, I didn’t read any New Year’s messages from people, nor did I personally congratulate anyone – just a short “Happy New Year” and that’s it, without any personal touches, so as not to damage relationships. Because any message I read could have been perceived through the illusion incorrectly, and I might have responded to it incorrectly as well. So, with wide eyes, I sat in bed the entire New Year’s night. I didn’t drink alcohol, didn’t eat anything – I just sat there, stunned, thinking, “Wow.” This was the first New Year’s like this in my life, seriously. No, let’s put it this way – if I had really done something wrong, if I had messed around and the system was simply punishing me, if it were about that, then sure, I’d feel ashamed, and I probably wouldn’t even be able to describe what had happened over these past three days. But this is a different story. This is specifically tied to the fifth volume. This is precisely a test, as part of the novel. These are concrete trials that are happening to me, and they’ve happened to others as well. And in a way, that’s actually a good thing. Why? Because this was, you could say, the final exam – which, unfortunately, I failed. I hope that next time this exam comes around, I’ll pass it. Because I failed the test, and this was the last exam – if I had passed it, that would have been it, enlightenment. But I didn’t pass it. I’m an idiot. But this is exactly “Alternative History”, the fifth volume.
And then what? So, I finally got out of this influence only on January 2. Today is January 3. It wasn’t until January 2 that I fully came out of it. I had moments throughout those days where I would break free from it, try to pull myself out, only to be hit by another situation again. My nerves were like exposed wires – I couldn’t control myself. I kept thinking, “What kind of nonsense is this?” This whole state was completely uncharacteristic for me.