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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2025 5:39 pm
completely losing her mind. My friend was walking with me, totally in shock, not understanding who that old woman was, or who the other one was, or what was going on at all. And he also knew that our mutual friend had taken me earlier that summer to Tamara — the one with the keys to paradise. So my friend was just in complete shock, didn’t understand anything, but of course, he turned it all into a joke, saying they were just all mentally ill and that I was the one listening to them. That’s how he tried to explain it to himself, so he wouldn’t be scared. And then I didn’t sleep all night, I stayed up with some other friends — the ones who respected my books and me and my work more than that devil-friend — and we sat together all night trying to decipher the note, trying to understand what it was and who gave it to me. And back then, I understood that even if we met her again the next day, she wouldn’t know anything. And how did it work? Well, that force would simply enter her and speak, but to her it would feel like she was just sitting there, kind of drunk, joking around, rambling something — and she wouldn’t even know what she said. That’s how I think she would remember it.
But let’s put it this way: that’s how I was thinking back when I wrote the first volume. But when I was in the United States in 2024, spending New Year’s and Christmas there, and when the messenger Toni Gibson came to me, I had new revelations and realizations. That’s when I began to suspect that what sometimes enters Big Alexander is actually different from what enters other people — and that what enters those messengers is something else entirely, that these are different Spirits. At that time, I was already working on the third volume of “Alternative History,” and I started to realize that it’s not just one Spirit, but that there are many. And then I made a distinction: that there is the Spirit — the Father — and there is also another Spirit, the Mother of God. And I began to suspect that all the women who had come to me — that it was the system speaking to me, the intelligence, specifically the Mother of God. And above that system, there’s something even higher — and that is the Spirit. And that Spirit is the one who came to me when I heard the voice — that’s something completely different. And that Spirit sometimes entered Big Alexander and spoke to me. It’s something else entirely. These are different things.
But let’s put it this way: that’s how I was thinking back when I wrote the first volume. But when I was in the United States in 2024, spending New Year’s and Christmas there, and when the messenger Toni Gibson came to me, I had new revelations and realizations. That’s when I began to suspect that what sometimes enters Big Alexander is actually different from what enters other people — and that what enters those messengers is something else entirely, that these are different Spirits. At that time, I was already working on the third volume of “Alternative History,” and I started to realize that it’s not just one Spirit, but that there are many. And then I made a distinction: that there is the Spirit — the Father — and there is also another Spirit, the Mother of God. And I began to suspect that all the women who had come to me — that it was the system speaking to me, the intelligence, specifically the Mother of God. And above that system, there’s something even higher — and that is the Spirit. And that Spirit is the one who came to me when I heard the voice — that’s something completely different. And that Spirit sometimes entered Big Alexander and spoke to me. It’s something else entirely. These are different things.