Page 313

Alexandr Korol
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Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2023 7:38 pm

Page 313

Post by Alexandr Korol »

If I’ve talked to someone like that, I now want to show off, just like everyone else, boast to everyone. And then I can’t sit down to write a book, or I can’t sit down to read a book. Why? Because the rhythm is different, the rhythm becomes scattered. So, in order not to lose faith – confession, communion, prayer, meditation – not for the camera, not on social media, but personally, in the morning at dawn, and at the end of the day, summarizing the day in a journal, summarizing the week, summarizing the month, reflecting on how everything went: which day was the best, which week was the best, and which one was the hardest, why, how you feel, did you complete everything, what are your plans for the next week. You’ve done a mental workout, reminding yourself where you are right now. You’ve made a little journey back into the past with your attention, processing and reflecting on the past two months. Then you think about the future, a month or two ahead, and make plans. And this is your daily reflection before bed. Before that, you also do meditation or write in your journal about everything you’re feeling, the spiritual, the deep. Or, watch such films, listen to such music, or read such books. If I’ve slightly lost myself in the social-material world, in everyday matters, and I sit down to read my book “Alternative History,” the first twenty pages are hard to get through, but by the thirtieth or fortieth page, that’s it – the whole perspective has shifted, I’m full of energy. All the heaviness, that heavy world, and the noise in my head disappear, and it’s like I’ve awakened. That’s how a book works. I used my books to sober myself up.

How did I not lose faith? I simply kept a daily journal with my heart. And I knew the measure — going into society, into the world of people, is like diving underwater; you must not forget to come up for air, or you could drown. And everyone dives in and doesn’t return, and they drown. But I dive in and stay there only for a set time, until I feel that my vigilance and awareness haven’t faded, until I still feel like I’m an observer from the outside, participating in society. I can be there, but if I feel that it’s consuming me, and I become a participant in this virtual reality, this multiverse of people, I immediately exit, like in the movie “Inception,” about dreams, to remind myself what is a dream and what is reality. I always return myself to my own reality, to my point of assembly. That’s faith. And of course, how is faith? Again, when you start and end each day,