Alexandr Korol

“without mind.” And I do enter it sometimes, then I end up again in the human world, in society, and then back into the spiritual world, and again. Big Alexander and the Mystic-Old-Man say that this is good and that it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be, that it’s natural and not connected to my development or lack thereof. It’s not because I haven’t developed myself enough in this. And it seems like that’s actually the right way — to avoid burning out, to keep a kind of rhythm — where at one point you’re the Spirit, and you quickly restore yourself there, download some information from somewhere. Then you’re back in the human world, an ordinary person in this density. Then again you become the Spirit. And that’s something that happens to me often, has happened, and still happens. But I just want to fully go into the Spirit and stay there. It’s like I’m tired of the human world. And how could you not be tired of it — when you’re born and from the very beginning, whether in school or university, among friends, among relatives — you’re automatically seen as bad. Seriously, this applies to all of you, to all people. It’s not about me having low self-esteem. Honestly, you do nothing, and people already assume you stole, lied, or are jealous. There’s so much negativity immediately projected onto you. No one ever assumes the good — that you’re a prince, that you’re the second coming, or that maybe all people actually owe you money. That doesn’t occur to anyone. People never think that if something good happens to them, maybe they owe it to you — maybe it’s because of you. No. People only see darkness, and that’s why it seems that way. And imagine being born into the human world and from the very beginning being suspected of being bad, even though you haven’t done anything, and you don’t understand how you could possibly be good if in the eyes of everyone around you you’re already bad — because that’s how they see the world. So no matter what kind of book you write, for the majority of people who live in darkness, it will seem bad. If I give someone flowers, people will assume I must want something from that person, that I have some dark intention. That’s how it is — since childhood, people carry this negative suspicion. Not just toward me as a person, but toward everyone. And of course, when everyone around them is the same way, then for them, that’s just normal. And when I, imagine, hadn’t done anything at all — still a child — and was already seen as bad, you start thinking, “how can you live in human society?” And of course, you don’t really want to. And that’s why I hide in books, in some kind of inner world