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[Alexandr Korol]

Yes, I fear God. If He says write books — I write books. That’s it. In my free time, I can allow myself something small, but it has to be within limits — it must not, even by one percent, make me scattered or lazy, or affect the volume of my writing. If it even affects it by one percent, I’ll get slapped so hard you can’t even imagine. So I listen to these higher forces. And if you try to stop me from writing books, you’re not interfering with me — you’re interfering with that force. And you better not interfere with it, seriously. I would honestly be glad if I could stop writing books. So to those who envy me and think I’m showing off, writing books about lofty spiritual matters — guys, I would love not to write. Please — if you have any complaints, take them up with God. But let me tell you — He can make you believe in Him today, right now. Yes. That’s how it works. So, about your question — I’m rereading it now. Trying to leave the path, or coming to terms with it. At this point — no, not anymore. Let’s put it this way — there’s no doubt in the higher force. No doubt in God. No doubt in what I write about. No doubt that something is coming in the future. It’s one hundred percent. But yes, once in a while, maybe it’s temptation from a demon or something, I do get tired of all this. I want a normal human life. Of course I get those thoughts. After all, I’m still a human being — just like you. But I understand — as Big Alexander always said — you took up the cross, and now there’s no way back. This is my burden, and I have to fulfill my purpose. What does the system show me every day now? Purpose. I don’t even know what this purpose is — what it’s about, what I’m supposed to do. I just do it. On one hand, it’s great that my life isn’t boring and I’m not just some guy working in a store. But just so you know — I would honestly prefer to be just as open, spiritual, and intelligent, but to work as a shop clerk, rather than carry the weight I’m carrying now. Seriously. I would gladly work as a simple store clerk. I have so many stores — I’d pick one and just work there and be happy. You sit there, listen to music, arrange little trinkets you’re selling. You chat with people who come in. That’s it. Life is perfect, nothing more needed. For me, that’s a fairytale. That’s a dream — an impossible one. But how do I live now? I’m not allowed to leave the house until I finish the seventh volume. And I want to go outside — but the seventh volume isn’t done. I have to finish it. Just like in that Ben Affleck movie: “Gotta finish, gotta finish, gotta finish. Born on Monday, baptized on Tuesday. Gotta finish.” And so I have to finish the seventh volume, and then the eighth. And after the eighth, there will