Page 166
Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2025 4:45 pm
walking this path to become Him — that the systems of the heavens, of the earth, of the underworld, of death, these Spirits of God, they all continue to function on autopilot. But they are still my autopilots, created by me. That’s the kind of interesting insight I had.
Still, I’ve been thinking more and more about the fact that this world, which is now ending and giving way to a new one — somehow, I still have the feeling that I haven’t yet become God, that I am supposed to become Him. And again — because of the linearity of time, which is structured and embedded into people’s minds — if I haven’t yet become God, and will only become Him in the future, then it would seem that I will only be God in the future. But that’s illogical, because if I became God in the future, and for God the future, the past, and the present are all open and accessible, then everything that is happening and has happened in the world now must also be me. That’s a very strange thing to try to comprehend, and I’m trying to comprehend it. That’s the version I’m leaning toward. Later on, of course, when I reach it, I’ll find out for sure, but for now it’s just a hypothesis.
Another interesting thing — today I saw someone who isn’t one of my readers, just a casual acquaintance. He visited me at home and started asking questions, noticing how I have pages from books spread out everywhere, that my whole apartment is filled with these books. And it’s true, I’ve practically stopped tidying up, because what’s the point — I don’t see anyone, I don’t have guests over — so the place is covered with models of the matrix I’m building, and also with books, pages, and copies of my published works. And he asked me a bit about it — what I’m doing and why. And I told him that “Alternative History” is like a path out of the old system and into a new one. That it’s a kind of accelerated journey, and that when a person reads all of “Alternative History,” they connect with all these worlds and go through everything very quickly. They seem to enter it, but at the same time, they quickly come out of it and become free from it. That’s what “Alternative History” is — a transition. And why did I say that to the person? Because he told me that if my fourth volume — when I was telling him about all the volumes — is about darkness, then maybe it shouldn’t be read. I said:
Still, I’ve been thinking more and more about the fact that this world, which is now ending and giving way to a new one — somehow, I still have the feeling that I haven’t yet become God, that I am supposed to become Him. And again — because of the linearity of time, which is structured and embedded into people’s minds — if I haven’t yet become God, and will only become Him in the future, then it would seem that I will only be God in the future. But that’s illogical, because if I became God in the future, and for God the future, the past, and the present are all open and accessible, then everything that is happening and has happened in the world now must also be me. That’s a very strange thing to try to comprehend, and I’m trying to comprehend it. That’s the version I’m leaning toward. Later on, of course, when I reach it, I’ll find out for sure, but for now it’s just a hypothesis.
Another interesting thing — today I saw someone who isn’t one of my readers, just a casual acquaintance. He visited me at home and started asking questions, noticing how I have pages from books spread out everywhere, that my whole apartment is filled with these books. And it’s true, I’ve practically stopped tidying up, because what’s the point — I don’t see anyone, I don’t have guests over — so the place is covered with models of the matrix I’m building, and also with books, pages, and copies of my published works. And he asked me a bit about it — what I’m doing and why. And I told him that “Alternative History” is like a path out of the old system and into a new one. That it’s a kind of accelerated journey, and that when a person reads all of “Alternative History,” they connect with all these worlds and go through everything very quickly. They seem to enter it, but at the same time, they quickly come out of it and become free from it. That’s what “Alternative History” is — a transition. And why did I say that to the person? Because he told me that if my fourth volume — when I was telling him about all the volumes — is about darkness, then maybe it shouldn’t be read. I said: