Alexandr Korol

so people understand all these trials, know how everything is arranged, just to show them this path and how to be freed from it. I was already free from this system since childhood, from what Buddhists or Hindus call? Samsara? So I was already freed from it from the beginning. But then I started the whole path again, to be freed once more, and to show this path through my books, through “Alternative History.” And for some reason, they gave me something... Or rather, didn’t give — Big Alexander always corrects me because I call it wrong, but I don’t know what exactly was done to me. The point is, now I somehow react like a normal person to people, but I should be, you know... This state of being without mind is really like dying — in a good sense — not physically. Like, imagine they deleted my website — that means it’s meant to be, it’s God’s will. People thought badly of me — that means it’s meant to be. A kind, good person appeared, and for some reason we often meet — that means he’s meant to be in my life. Then something happened, I got disappointed in him, or he in me, like something didn’t match — so God took him away. It’s like you don’t belong to yourself, you just watch everything like a movie, but first of all, you take it all very calmly, as if it’s all meant to be, as it is. It’s very unusual. And honestly, I admit, I haven’t passed this exam yet, I’m still going through it. I’d say this is the hardest exam.
And there is such an interesting coincidence right now that I’m watching the series “Smallville,” and as usual, the system arranges everything to match. There is an episode in the fifth season, about the fifth or sixth episode — I can’t remember exactly — where he cuts himself on kryptonite, and this Mara happens to him. He starts suspecting everyone of everything, everyone irritates him, he becomes aggressive, and begins listening to Marilyn Manson — this is exactly what is happening to me right now. Although everyone who has known me since childhood knows I’m not like that. But this dark force is tormenting me for some reason, and that it is for the good from God — that’s what I’m now coming to understand. And the last words Big Alexander told me were:

— Jesus said (or God said) that I exist, and that you exist, and this life exists. And all this darkness exists. It always will, it always must — that is life. And God exists, and you must understand that it all exists. This is life.