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[Alexandr Korol]

at 5 PM at a certain place. And I know that I am going for a walk and will meet this person at five. And my mind feels comfortable, and it closes me and I feel good because I have this scenario. Because I am connected to this person and to this meeting at 5 PM and it grounds me. I feel the earth beneath my feet and I have a sense of time and space. And if I just go outside and go aimlessly and won’t keep contact with anything and won’t be connected to anybody, I will be scared that I’ll get lost. But this is when the Spirit enters me a thousand times stronger. This is what is unusual. And I was always afraid to let go completely. And the point is that when I was in the Spirit and I went outside my apartment, I always had someone to accompany me, to be my guide in society. I was always afraid to be by myself. That’s why I always had an assistant who slept in the next room and I was in the relationship just so I have a guide next to me. Because when I am in the Spirit, I can’t remember if it was yesterday or today. Is today really today or is it tomorrow? This is how it is and it sounds like the talk of a crazy person. But actually I understand that I need to go through with this adaptation. And when I am in the Spirit and there is a person next to me, I feel the world through this person. I still feel the world, the time and space and I am comfortable. As if I am not lost. And when I go to the cafe, I go with someone.When I go to the store, I go with someone. This is how I did before.

When I lived in New York by myself, I used to call my friend before going to the store so he would stay on the phone with me while I am going to the store. A lot of people who have this spiritual connection will understand what I am talking about. They should have similar situations. Some people were telling me about it. That is why they always want to connect to someone, they want relationships or they always cling to someone. As a matter of fact the Spirit doesn’t like it. This is you resisting the Spirit.

This is the first time when I am in the Spirit and live by myself. I used to close myself or have someone around. And now I am in the Spirit and alone. And each day I am getting used to it. That is, releasing myself into him. I say a phrase from the movie called “Split” as a joke, “I am giving him my light”. Completely. Giving him my light. I used to resist before. And now I am giving it away. One of the remarks I will give is that when you are half-closed, well, when I am half-