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[Alexandr Korol]

And here is one “for instance” that a friend recently reminded me of, when I started telling him all of this — it’s actually good that there is someone who witnessed all of it and can even remind me of it, that’s wonderful. And he says to me:

— Do you remember that you could just get up and disappear? Just get up and disappear.

And he says that I used to say people, when they meet somewhere, have no measure for how long they should be together. That at first, a favorable period of conversation begins, and then it reaches a certain peak — like a pyramid reaching its summit — and if you stay together beyond that point without ending the meeting, then the conversation starts to decline, going into the negative. And every time a meeting reached that peak, I would feel it — almost like an energy shift — and I would leave. Naturally, people would always want to stop me, to say, “Stay a little longer,” but I would still say, “Excuse me,” or I could even just say, “I’m going to the bathroom,” and then leave. Can you imagine? So yes, I behaved in a way that might seem impolite, but I couldn’t do otherwise — that unique, paradisiacal nature I was in at the time was what moved me. And if people listened to me, and when I said that the time was up and it was time to part ways, everything was fine. But if people prolonged the meeting, it would later end in arguments, negativity, or some kind of conflict. I always felt that measure. I also always felt that if I happened to meet someone, talk with them, take a walk, then afterward I... Again, I wasn’t doing this intentionally with my mind — it was all the opposite, simply by sensation, by feeling. After that I could spend a day or two, maybe three, sitting at home alone — maybe even a week — without communicating with anyone, not even on social media. Back then, online social interaction wasn’t as developed as it is now. And I could spend all that time to myself, keeping a diary, watching movies, but not contacting anyone for a week — until I felt that, alright, now I can allow it again, but again, in moderation. I could feel exactly how long a break I needed so as not to get even the slightest attachment to a person — so that later I could meet again, but not with them, with some entirely different person. That’s what was happening with me.