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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2025 9:32 am
remaining in the same place where I am right now. Of course, I have already, so to speak, let go of this place, I cannot stay in it. But the essence is that it’s as if there was no need to leave anywhere at all. And he told me that I must fully “Describe this whole journey in your novel like Jules Verne. Describe this entire search for the magical world and describe this magical world. And share it.”
Let’s recall what it was like before, when I was still magical in this world. Back then, when I first began writing books, many years ago — what was I describing then? What was happening to me then? I know that I did not understand either time or space at all — as if they did not exist, as if I couldn’t sense them, couldn’t comprehend them. Figuratively speaking, I could be playing football on the street for an hour or for ten hours, but I couldn’t tell the difference. Time passed in such a way that it was as if I had just started playing with the ball, and suddenly ten hours had gone by, and I couldn’t understand how that could be. It felt like only ten minutes had passed, but not ten hours. Can you imagine? Or the opposite: a whole day could be uniquely, magically full, like “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn,” where from early morning you’re building a raft with a friend, throwing it into the river, drifting somewhere down that river. And all of it feels like an entire world, a whole life, yet it was only one single day. I remember that when I was in that state, I felt as if — and not just by comparison, but literally — as if I were a ghost. I could stand there with a friend — who, as it turns out, was also a part of me, my projection, therefore in my own world. And there he stood, and I stood, and we looked at people walking, say, along the avenue. And it was as if they did not see us, while we, like angels, stood and watched from the side. But they could not see us — they couldn’t even seem to focus on us. They were all as if in a different rhythm, in what I used to describe as a different speed of vibrations and focus of attention altogether, while I was in some kind of looking-glass, some kind of parallel realm.
And suddenly I could notice a person across the street, and he would see me in my focus. And for me it was a shock — “How is it that he sees me? Who is he?”
Let’s recall what it was like before, when I was still magical in this world. Back then, when I first began writing books, many years ago — what was I describing then? What was happening to me then? I know that I did not understand either time or space at all — as if they did not exist, as if I couldn’t sense them, couldn’t comprehend them. Figuratively speaking, I could be playing football on the street for an hour or for ten hours, but I couldn’t tell the difference. Time passed in such a way that it was as if I had just started playing with the ball, and suddenly ten hours had gone by, and I couldn’t understand how that could be. It felt like only ten minutes had passed, but not ten hours. Can you imagine? Or the opposite: a whole day could be uniquely, magically full, like “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn,” where from early morning you’re building a raft with a friend, throwing it into the river, drifting somewhere down that river. And all of it feels like an entire world, a whole life, yet it was only one single day. I remember that when I was in that state, I felt as if — and not just by comparison, but literally — as if I were a ghost. I could stand there with a friend — who, as it turns out, was also a part of me, my projection, therefore in my own world. And there he stood, and I stood, and we looked at people walking, say, along the avenue. And it was as if they did not see us, while we, like angels, stood and watched from the side. But they could not see us — they couldn’t even seem to focus on us. They were all as if in a different rhythm, in what I used to describe as a different speed of vibrations and focus of attention altogether, while I was in some kind of looking-glass, some kind of parallel realm.
And suddenly I could notice a person across the street, and he would see me in my focus. And for me it was a shock — “How is it that he sees me? Who is he?”