And that was it. And then I would just disappear. Everyone who called me — I came right away, instantly. And all the people, they even seemed to understand it. I did not say or shout who I was. But just imagine, every two weeks suddenly some random meeting or acquaintance happens, and it turns out that this person had asked God for something, and this person tells me this himself. I did not even ask him, he tells me himself: “Maybe God sent you?” — this is what people said to me. I say: “What?” And these people who said this were just people from my real life, they did not know that I was a writer. Back then I was not really one yet. And it was not even me who started the first conversation, all people for some reason immediately wanted to tell me everything, confess everything, everyone wanted to cry. And everyone asked me what to do next, and I told them. And it is quite possible, since I was already like this, and it was given to me in childhood, and I must return to this, then it means that soon I will become like this. As I understand it, Big Alexander hopes that I will no longer run away from this role, from this destiny, who, what I must become. And I will not exchange it for the world of people, for human pleasures. And so he says that I will have to make some kind of choice — it is about this.
I also said to Big Alexander:
— Listen, maybe I should take a break? I’ve already been living for more than 20 days, well, almost a month, every day in different hotels, in some houses, in some apartments, flats, with just a backpack with underwear. Maybe I should take a break and just, let’s say, burrow somewhere, stop, settle at home, rest, read a book, write a book?
— No. You cannot sit at home. You must set out on the path like a samurai.
And he tells me that I must definitely communicate with people. But then immediately he emphasizes, exactly as strongly as I would emphasize. He says:
— But it cannot be that you start communicating with all people right away. No. Do it as if reluctantly. Just if suddenly some person appears in your mind, you remember someone, write to them. If suddenly you feel that you want