Page 239

[Alexandr Korol]

no fear at all and one hundred percent faith. To the extent that if a snake were
crawling by, I would pet it. And I realize that I used to be that way, and now
I see that it was lost, but I am being returned to it right now by gods, aliens,
I don’t know who. And they are directly hinting at this, telling me to stop
behaving like a human and to become like that, if I am indeed such a being.

It’s so interesting that today I listened to a lot of music, started translating
song lyrics, and everywhere it says that all the pain or all the situations you
go through — it’s all the “way home.” And again, this “way home.” It’s as if I
am returning home now, to where I came from. Because when I appeared in
the world of people with my books, I wrote — half-joking and half-not —
that “I descended to the people from my magical world and began to learn
this socio-material world, to walk this path of humans that all people walk.”
And now it seems to be coming to a close, and everything seems to lead to
the fact that I must become this “cosmic” being. I remember that in 2010
I was as “cosmic” as I must become again now. Truly, people would feel
unwell just being near me. And now it is returning. It’s as if God is hinting
to me that I should throw everything out of my head; there shouldn’t be
any of these threads of cause-and-effect, so to speak. That it was fine then,
but not now for my divine self. Just like that. And I remember that earlier,
perhaps it’s true, employees or people I was in relationships with might have
deceived or betrayed me a thousand times more. I simply didn’t know it
because I didn’t control, didn’t delve into it, didn’t think about it, didn’t look
for it. It was like: there is a person, and that’s it. When fate dictates that this
person should leave — they leave; when necessary — they return. But I didn’t
teach anyone, didn’t scold anyone; I was so light. And it’s as if I’m being
returned to this now — that I shouldn’t even slightly have to sort out relations
with anyone, regarding anything. Like someone not showing up on time for
work or a meeting, figuratively speaking. It feels as if I must surrender this
control to these higher forces, systems, and Spirits, in order to rise above it.
On one hand, it’s all logical and fits together; for there are these four spirits,
four Gospels, four elements, and it’s as if I, having learned them, must
surrender the will of control over these worlds and these people to them, and
become the one who is above these four spirits — to become even more deified.