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[Alexandr Korol]

— You understand, Alexander, there is such an internal struggle going on now.
On one hand, I realize I could stop listening to music altogether right now
and just sit and meditate. And surrender even more to this state, but it’s so
strong that the walls literally swim at times. It’s scary, as if I’m about to lose
consciousness. Should I surrender to this state or muffle myself? Because
I could pour myself a whiskey and coke right now, call the most closed-off
material person I know — better yet, plan a meeting with them — and basically,
I’d be grounded.

And he answered quite ambiguously. On one hand, he hinted that I shouldn’t
muffle it, but on the other, he said it’s not bad if there is a dynamic, and that
how can a person know themselves if they don’t experience it all in comparison.
And he says:

— There’s nothing scary if you go here and there; you’ll actually understand
everything even faster. So it’s all okay.
— Good. I know what I need to do with myself now and what is happening
to me — that it is a kind of internal struggle.
— Just don’t tell anyone; just deal with it and do it now.

I don’t know why he said that. Maybe so as not to vulgarize it, not to speak
of it to people — to society — so that I resolve it within myself. I don’t know,
but it was curious, and I recorded it.
What else was happening? Well, it turns out that I could be standing
outside, or sitting on a bench somewhere, or standing at home, or walking
in circles, and just communicating with the voice for five hours straight. I
was communicating with the voice so intensely that I was even uttering both
the question and the answer out loud, as if muttering to myself. I had no
sense of how much time had passed; I had no thoughts, no understanding
of where I was — only my dialogue with the voice. And what’s curious is that
I remembered I used to be like this. In 2009, 2010, and the beginning of
2011, I used to communicate with the voice. But not just “communicating”
in the sense of remembering them once a week and asking something at
night before bed. No. I remembered it because of what just happened now.