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[Alexandr Korol]

— When you meet him, do not ask what he did during these two weeks.
Don’t. Even if there’s an unresolved work issue, do not ask. Ask nothing,
otherwise there will be conflict.
— Fine, — I say, -if I end up offering him work when we meet — provided
there’s no conflict — how do I talk to him?
— It will be painful for you.
— I’m ready for that, I’ll try not to react. What do I do?
— You should offer nothing. Wait until he starts the dialogue himself.
If he asks about work — talk about work. If he doesn’t ask — don’t speak
of it. If you begin discussing how to work together, you don’t ask him how
he wants it — rather, you wait for him to suggest it, to say what he wants.”
“What, so I just agree to everything?” I ask the aliens in shock.
— No. Your main job is to listen. You must learn to listen to a person even if
he speaks nonsense, even if he voices foolish desires and you believe he is
wrong in everything. Out of everything your employee voices, you can agree
to 50%. In the other 50%, you can introduce your own edits, but very gently.

So, I must yield by 50% — then there will be no conflict, and it will be fair.
They also tell me that if I want to avoid mistakes, the best thing to do is to
make pauses in the dialogue with the employee. I should first ask questions
of the voice, listen to the voice, and let the voice guide me on how to behave,
how to react, and how to answer. Then, there will be no problems at all.
They show me that if I meet with the employee, my first mistake will be that
I will immediately want to ask a question. I’ll want to uncover some truth
or latch onto something, because I know this person did something bad.
And they say to me:

— Your task right now is not to be a boss, not to teach anyone how to live
correctly. Your task right now is not to show that he is wrong. We’ve already
settled that with you. We know he is wrong; that is not your concern. Right
now, the problem is you yourself. Right now, the problem is your own
internal struggle. Your number one task is to ensure there are no conflicts.
Your task is not to conflict. And how do you think — if you start asking again
about things that are unpleasant to him and to you — even though, yes,
you will claim he is the one in the wrong — if you speak of it now, do you
think it will create tension and escalate into a conflict or not?