Page 271
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2026 1:00 pm
In the end, I felt so strange, like a blind man in a dialogue with him.
First, he lists how he meditated and kept a journal. Naturally, I want to
clarify how he meditated, where he meditated, what he wrote in that journal.
But I have to ask only the bare minimum and not dig. So to everything he
says, I just reply: “Well done on finding a job,” “Well done, great, do you
like it? Good.” It’s so unfamiliar for my mind to talk like this. How can I ask
if he likes his new job if I don’t even know what the job is? I feel as though
my mind is experiencing a crazy hunger. Or rather, I wouldn’t say my
mind is “hungry” now — I noticed that my mind used to be hungry all
the time. Now, this mind has gone almost completely to zero, it’s almost
gone, but some old desires remain like muscle memory, like old instincts.
I realized that this was my mistake before. Well, maybe not a mistake —
perhaps in the world of people it’s natural to behave that way, especially
when you’re the boss. But since the aliens are telling me I must be deified
and rid myself of these qualities, I am starting to understand exactly what
those qualities are and what I need to do to myself. I’m beginning to see
the whole situation even more clearly — what is happening to me and what
the aliens want from me.
What happened next? The employee even — probably for the first time,
since I was forbidden from raising any topics — was the first to speak,
the first to open up this dialogue. He told me that he understands he was
wrong, that he irritated me, belittled me, and provoked me. He said he
understands he did it intentionally, that he admits it, and that he simply
didn’t want to acknowledge his mistakes. He said that every time I caught
him, he would defend himself and couldn’t control his aggression —
he didn’t even understand what it was or where that aggression came from.
And I said to him:
— Well, remember how I told you that a demon was possessing you? It’s gone
now. It’s not there anymore.
— What do you mean, it’s not there?
— Do you feel as if you used to have the strength to butt heads with me, but now
you feel like you have no strength left?
— Yes.
First, he lists how he meditated and kept a journal. Naturally, I want to
clarify how he meditated, where he meditated, what he wrote in that journal.
But I have to ask only the bare minimum and not dig. So to everything he
says, I just reply: “Well done on finding a job,” “Well done, great, do you
like it? Good.” It’s so unfamiliar for my mind to talk like this. How can I ask
if he likes his new job if I don’t even know what the job is? I feel as though
my mind is experiencing a crazy hunger. Or rather, I wouldn’t say my
mind is “hungry” now — I noticed that my mind used to be hungry all
the time. Now, this mind has gone almost completely to zero, it’s almost
gone, but some old desires remain like muscle memory, like old instincts.
I realized that this was my mistake before. Well, maybe not a mistake —
perhaps in the world of people it’s natural to behave that way, especially
when you’re the boss. But since the aliens are telling me I must be deified
and rid myself of these qualities, I am starting to understand exactly what
those qualities are and what I need to do to myself. I’m beginning to see
the whole situation even more clearly — what is happening to me and what
the aliens want from me.
What happened next? The employee even — probably for the first time,
since I was forbidden from raising any topics — was the first to speak,
the first to open up this dialogue. He told me that he understands he was
wrong, that he irritated me, belittled me, and provoked me. He said he
understands he did it intentionally, that he admits it, and that he simply
didn’t want to acknowledge his mistakes. He said that every time I caught
him, he would defend himself and couldn’t control his aggression —
he didn’t even understand what it was or where that aggression came from.
And I said to him:
— Well, remember how I told you that a demon was possessing you? It’s gone
now. It’s not there anymore.
— What do you mean, it’s not there?
— Do you feel as if you used to have the strength to butt heads with me, but now
you feel like you have no strength left?
— Yes.