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[Alexandr Korol]

But it feels as if something has been resolved, as if some knot of conflict has
been untied. Maybe he’ll quit his job and come to mine. Maybe he’ll suggest
working both. If he does, I’ll tell him “yes,” simply to keep this person close
by — to hone myself, to polish my internal “self,” to work on my quick temper
and my irritation toward unjust people. I want to learn this resilience,
this tempering and humbling of myself.

Then, I call Big Alexander and tell him everything. I talk to him about the voice:

— I remembered that I used to talk to this voice 24 hours a day. Back then,
Alexander, when we first met a long time ago.
— Yes, I remember, I remember.
— Yes, they know everything, every single word. I could ask them anything about
you right now and tell you, and you’d be in shock.
— I know, I remember. You see, maybe everything will happen right now — three
days before your birthday or three days after, — he tells me.
— Yes, this is a very difficult exam; you are going through your third battle
with the beast. It must be a trinity. There was the first beast, then the second
one inside that person, and now it’s inside you. You must polish yourself.
This exam is very hard.
— What should I do next?
— You see, I told you from the start that this employee wasn’t just given to you
for no reason — that this isn’t just some conflict, like when people fight, and
that it’s not just distracting you from your books. This is part of your path.
This situation was given to you specifically; you are being taught. You are
being taught and polished through this situation. And you wanted to fire him,
block him, and run away from the problem. But you can’t run away from it;
it’s an exam.
— Fine, fine, I understand. So, I restrained myself. Imagine, I just saw the
employee, and we didn’t fight. And he told me what he’s been doing while he
was fired. Imagine — praying, meditating, and keeping a journal.
— Well, you see, I told you that you helped him, that you cast the demon out of
him, but his head is still a mess. He’s still deciding what’s good and what’s bad.
He’s still fifty-fifty. He is a foolish man.