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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2026 1:27 pm
Honestly, it’s scary even to think about what’s going on with my body if I went
to the doctors right now. Everything inside aches, as if all my internal organs...
Like I might die right this second.
He laughs and says:
— Listen, here’s a story for you. A friend called the other day and told me about
his father — he’s about 85, I think. He drank and smoked his whole life, led a bad
lifestyle, everything always hurt. Then in 1982, he went to the doctors for the
first time, and they said he had the body of a young man. They were in shock at
how that was possible, especially after hearing about the lifestyle he led.
— I have that same feeling — that if I simply believe in who I am and what I
am, and that I have this task and path, then as long as I haven’t completed it,
everything is fine with me, and I won’t have problems. But if I start digging into
it like other people do, if I start thinking about it, fearing it, checking things,
then I’ll start playing into these illnesses, and they will appear, and I’ll get sick.
— That’s exactly how it is. Why would you even get into all that? Just forget it.
But of course, I don’t advise or say this to anyone else. This concerns me
personally. I just told him the truth about what disturbs me a little, like a topic
that steals my attention from time to time.
And there is a second topic. I didn’t tell him this, but I will tell all of you in
more detail. After all, this is a book. Today I watched the movie Interstellar and
I cried, I cried a lot — it was heavy. When they showed that moment in time
where he is in one time-world and his daughter is in another. People dying,
and his father there having grown old and died, while he hadn’t aged because
he was in a different dimension. And then he returns, and his daughter
is older than he is. I felt this so deeply within myself, as if this is happening
to me right now. I am truly absent and not present in the world of my
loved ones, in the world of my friends, relatives, parents. But I asked Big
Alexander a different question. I said:
— I want to be in St. Petersburg with my grandmothers and grandfathers.
I don’t want to return to Russia only after they have all died. And soon it will
reach my parents too. Why is this? Is it because I am some chosen Messiah and
this is the aliens’ plan? Or is it because everything in the world is so terrible?
to the doctors right now. Everything inside aches, as if all my internal organs...
Like I might die right this second.
He laughs and says:
— Listen, here’s a story for you. A friend called the other day and told me about
his father — he’s about 85, I think. He drank and smoked his whole life, led a bad
lifestyle, everything always hurt. Then in 1982, he went to the doctors for the
first time, and they said he had the body of a young man. They were in shock at
how that was possible, especially after hearing about the lifestyle he led.
— I have that same feeling — that if I simply believe in who I am and what I
am, and that I have this task and path, then as long as I haven’t completed it,
everything is fine with me, and I won’t have problems. But if I start digging into
it like other people do, if I start thinking about it, fearing it, checking things,
then I’ll start playing into these illnesses, and they will appear, and I’ll get sick.
— That’s exactly how it is. Why would you even get into all that? Just forget it.
But of course, I don’t advise or say this to anyone else. This concerns me
personally. I just told him the truth about what disturbs me a little, like a topic
that steals my attention from time to time.
And there is a second topic. I didn’t tell him this, but I will tell all of you in
more detail. After all, this is a book. Today I watched the movie Interstellar and
I cried, I cried a lot — it was heavy. When they showed that moment in time
where he is in one time-world and his daughter is in another. People dying,
and his father there having grown old and died, while he hadn’t aged because
he was in a different dimension. And then he returns, and his daughter
is older than he is. I felt this so deeply within myself, as if this is happening
to me right now. I am truly absent and not present in the world of my
loved ones, in the world of my friends, relatives, parents. But I asked Big
Alexander a different question. I said:
— I want to be in St. Petersburg with my grandmothers and grandfathers.
I don’t want to return to Russia only after they have all died. And soon it will
reach my parents too. Why is this? Is it because I am some chosen Messiah and
this is the aliens’ plan? Or is it because everything in the world is so terrible?