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[Alexandr Korol]

Honestly, it’s scary even to think about what’s going on with my body if I went
to the doctors right now. Everything inside aches, as if all my internal organs...
Like I might die right this second.

He laughs and says:

— Listen, here’s a story for you. A friend called the other day and told me about
his father — he’s about 85, I think. He drank and smoked his whole life, led a bad
lifestyle, everything always hurt. Then in 1982, he went to the doctors for the
first time, and they said he had the body of a young man. They were in shock at
how that was possible, especially after hearing about the lifestyle he led.
— I have that same feeling — that if I simply believe in who I am and what I
am, and that I have this task and path, then as long as I haven’t completed it,
everything is fine with me, and I won’t have problems. But if I start digging into
it like other people do, if I start thinking about it, fearing it, checking things,
then I’ll start playing into these illnesses, and they will appear, and I’ll get sick.
— That’s exactly how it is. Why would you even get into all that? Just forget it.

But of course, I don’t advise or say this to anyone else. This concerns me
personally. I just told him the truth about what disturbs me a little, like a topic
that steals my attention from time to time.
And there is a second topic. I didn’t tell him this, but I will tell all of you in
more detail. After all, this is a book. Today I watched the movie Interstellar and
I cried, I cried a lot — it was heavy. When they showed that moment in time
where he is in one time-world and his daughter is in another. People dying,
and his father there having grown old and died, while he hadn’t aged because
he was in a different dimension. And then he returns, and his daughter
is older than he is. I felt this so deeply within myself, as if this is happening
to me right now. I am truly absent and not present in the world of my
loved ones, in the world of my friends, relatives, parents. But I asked Big
Alexander a different question. I said:

— I want to be in St. Petersburg with my grandmothers and grandfathers.
I don’t want to return to Russia only after they have all died. And soon it will
reach my parents too. Why is this? Is it because I am some chosen Messiah and
this is the aliens’ plan? Or is it because everything in the world is so terrible?