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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2026 1:56 pm
Chapter 26. Worlds
I imagined it like this: I started thinking about it in 2021, and I had this
minor shock a few days ago — the realization that, after all, the end of
the world occurred in 2021. How did I see it? Well, I simply remember;
everyone’s memory has been erased, but they try, they think — an illusion
has been created for them that they remember their whole lives, yet they
cannot remember anything specific. But my memory was preserved. I clearly
remember myself, how I felt at 18, at 20, 22, 25, 27. 27 years old — that was
2017 — and I felt a clear, linear time; I fully felt, sensed, and remembered every
year that was before and after, the years I lived, and I saw the years ahead.
That is, I saw my own future and the future of people, but then it abruptly
cut off, which is something I’ve feared since childhood. I used to tell Big
Alexander that I would die, that I don’t see my future. And he would say: “You’ll
just change, become someone else, don’t worry.” And I didn’t know when it
would all cut off, but I was very afraid of this end of the world. On one hand,
I was sort of waiting for it, but I’ve had this feeling since birth that something
would happen. The point is that we lived in an old world, the one I was
born into, and I felt it would soon disappear — that world — and that I am
from some other world that hadn’t arrived yet. I kept trying to explain
this to friends and many acquaintances: that I write books, but I am not
recognized as a writer; I won’t be invited to any TV shows for interviews.
To everyone, I will only be an enemy because in this world I am a stranger;
I am as if from another world that doesn’t exist yet. But it will be in the
future, when everything old collapses, there will be a new world. But I didn’t
know how it would collapse, how it would happen physically. Of course, the
system helps us — there are many songs, movies, various books, and stories
— and we pick some “cover” from these things, fitting it to our sensations
and feelings just to give it some kind of image. So it seemed to me that there
would probably be some catastrophe, a volcano would wake up, a meteorite
would fall. Although, it’s quite possible such a thing could have happened
or did happen, who knows, or will happen. But I stopped seeing the future,
and it became harder for me to remember — I try, but it became harder
to remember the past in 2021. And then, at that time, everyone started
I imagined it like this: I started thinking about it in 2021, and I had this
minor shock a few days ago — the realization that, after all, the end of
the world occurred in 2021. How did I see it? Well, I simply remember;
everyone’s memory has been erased, but they try, they think — an illusion
has been created for them that they remember their whole lives, yet they
cannot remember anything specific. But my memory was preserved. I clearly
remember myself, how I felt at 18, at 20, 22, 25, 27. 27 years old — that was
2017 — and I felt a clear, linear time; I fully felt, sensed, and remembered every
year that was before and after, the years I lived, and I saw the years ahead.
That is, I saw my own future and the future of people, but then it abruptly
cut off, which is something I’ve feared since childhood. I used to tell Big
Alexander that I would die, that I don’t see my future. And he would say: “You’ll
just change, become someone else, don’t worry.” And I didn’t know when it
would all cut off, but I was very afraid of this end of the world. On one hand,
I was sort of waiting for it, but I’ve had this feeling since birth that something
would happen. The point is that we lived in an old world, the one I was
born into, and I felt it would soon disappear — that world — and that I am
from some other world that hadn’t arrived yet. I kept trying to explain
this to friends and many acquaintances: that I write books, but I am not
recognized as a writer; I won’t be invited to any TV shows for interviews.
To everyone, I will only be an enemy because in this world I am a stranger;
I am as if from another world that doesn’t exist yet. But it will be in the
future, when everything old collapses, there will be a new world. But I didn’t
know how it would collapse, how it would happen physically. Of course, the
system helps us — there are many songs, movies, various books, and stories
— and we pick some “cover” from these things, fitting it to our sensations
and feelings just to give it some kind of image. So it seemed to me that there
would probably be some catastrophe, a volcano would wake up, a meteorite
would fall. Although, it’s quite possible such a thing could have happened
or did happen, who knows, or will happen. But I stopped seeing the future,
and it became harder for me to remember — I try, but it became harder
to remember the past in 2021. And then, at that time, everyone started