thing in any terrifying situation is not to create panic. Therefore, to
anyone who reaches out to you, even on social media, you must say that
everything will be fine.” I thought, well, obviously, because truly, panic is
the most terrible thing; running somewhere is the most incorrect thing;
doing something on impulse without thinking is wrong. And that was
my reaction.
I was in St. Petersburg until the summer, until the end of spring. That was
exactly the period when I had returned from the United States and acquired
land in Karelia. For this, many people also wanted to judge me, claiming
that I knew everything and had prepared in advance but didn’t tell anyone.
And I answered: “I didn’t know anything, guys. If I had known, I would have
told everyone.” But still, people tried to go mad as much as possible, looking
for someone to blame or someone somehow involved in it. But I said that
I couldn’t have known anything. It was all just a series of parallel events,
and everything just happened to coincide. And so, it turns out, I was sitting
at home in St. Petersburg. I felt this crazy state of being “out of my mind,”
to such an extent — meaning such a strong faith woke up in me. It seemed
like everything was terrifying, everything was bad, people were getting sick
and dying all over the world, but at the same time, you didn’t have panic; on
the contrary, you were in a state of shock and some kind of divine presence.
As if a light had descended upon you. Seriously. And it’s so funny that back
then I started listening to the music of composer Max Richter on repeat.
And most interestingly, specifically those tracks that are soundtracks for
the series The Leftovers. I knew it was the soundtrack for some series,
but until the system highlighted it for me, I wasn’t allowed to watch it.
Even if my acquaintances suggested it, I wasn’t allowed to watch. But I
knew there was some series with that music, and since the music was like
that, it meant the atmosphere was like that — it was something interesting.
But you see how many years have passed — it is now 2025, and I hadn’t
turned on that series, yet I listened to the music. I clearly remember how,
from the month of May, when I moved to Karelia and took over all those
abandoned sites without toilets or water — I lived there with the builders at
first because everything was closed anyway. Everyone was sitting in their
apartments; it was better to be in nature. I remember how I spent the whole