Alexandr Korol

I must be assembled from these two parts. This is that unique “completion”
depicted everywhere: in alchemy and on icons as well. The perfect completion,
the finished version of a human who must walk the entire path — the reason
we live, to develop — is when the male and female sides are in maximum
harmony, both one hundred percent developed and crossed, bound together.
Then you are born as something third, something unique.
For example, in Christian icons, there is an image of the Trinity as three
identical figures, but one is in red, the second in blue, and the third in white.
This white is when you are finally in balance, when your red and blue are
regulated, and those two worlds are correctly formed within you. I am moving
toward this white color, toward this center. Because, you see, first I was
in the extreme of the blue, and then I was in the extreme of the red — to the
point where everyone from the blue world wanted to devour me like a zebra.
I must radiate both blue and red now; then I will become something third,
something unique. When I was “too red,” people from the blue world
wanted to eat me because they didn’t feel the Spirit of Justice in me at all.
They didn’t even perceive me as just a happy person with elements of luck
from the world under the sun, from the red world; they perceived me as
a mere lamb, a victim, a “zebra-victim.” And I thought: “Okay, that’s it,
I understand. Now I need to correctly adjust my equalizer, to tweak all the
parameters so that everything is in balance.” This is what I am working
on now. I believe this is what the system wanted from me, and only now,
after a month, have I understood it. I never rush, and for a month I simply
analyzed what was required of me every time these provocative situations
occurred. I didn’t understand how to react — should I activate the Spirit
of Justice within me so that a person would literally wet themselves on the spot
from a single look? But then I thought that I didn’t want to act like that — to
turn on that version of myself when someone, say a scammer, is deceiving
me. I didn’t want to activate that Spirit of Justice because I didn’t want to fall
back into that world. Because if I turn that on, I end up back there, do you
understand? And I don’t want that. So I thought, “Fine, let it be,” and I became
even more “lowered,” even softer. I was being cheated, and I just smiled
and allowed them to humiliate me and treat me disrespectfully even more.