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[Alexandr Korol]

of the aggression or grievances that I’ve had toward this for the last 5 years,
or even more, maybe the last 10 years. It’s as if, for some reason, while I was
walking the entire path of “Alternative History” all these years — from the
moment the magic and all that started — my attitude toward people changed
very sharply. I began categorizing them into “bad” and “good,” and I became
extremely nitpicky about who was on which side.
And in a literal sense, even though I did it with the purpose of being a writer,
through my books I was still, one might say, judging a large group of people
— judging various groups of people. Perhaps I justified it to myself by saying
that in real life I don’t act that way; in life, I don’t say such things to anyone,
I don’t judge anyone. Whatever their orientation, whatever kind of person
they are, whatever flag they carry — rainbow or not — it’s their business.
As long as they don’t touch me, I have no grievances against them. But in my
books, I still made very sharp statements: that there are these people and
there are those, and you shouldn’t be like this, blah-blah-blah. Something
happened to me, and there is an explanation for it — this is the core conclusion
of the tenth volume. After fighting the beast and undergoing a “super-
polishing” of myself, something changed even more deeply. I became even
kinder, even more spiritual. And the most interesting part is that I was actually
like this before, as it turns out. When I worked at the production center at
18 or 20, I was already this way. Now that I am becoming like that again,
I suddenly remember that I was like that. It turns out I had a whole bunch
of acquaintances — some were lesbians, some were this, some were that —
and I communicated with all of them without any grievances. Back then, I
never had any enemies. Even if someone was a “hooligan,” so to speak, I
didn’t tell everyone, “Look, he’s a hooligan.” I didn’t tell him, “If you’re a
hooligan, you’ll end up in prison or die.” I never said such things when I
was young. I was friends with everyone normally and felt that it was their
choice; they were just that way. It’s as if I didn’t have... I mean, I had a clear
vision of good and evil, light and dark, a spiritual person or a material one,
a lost soul or a soul on the path. I saw it all, but I didn’t interfere. Back then,
I perceived everything as being God, everything as being nature. I even felt
that if there was a criminal, figuratively speaking, whom everyone else judged
and considered bad, I was the only one who could accept him for who he was,
without judgment. Imagine, I thought that way when I was only 18 years old.