Page 603
Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2026 6:20 pm
And because my soul was like that, everyone was drawn to me back then.
Everything was so magical; people wanted to confess to me, everyone wanted
to talk to me, and they told me everything about themselves — the bad
and the good — knowing that I wouldn’t hurt or judge them like those angry
people who are always trying to fit everyone into some category of “bad” or
“good.” Imagine, I was already like this, and I suddenly realize that I had
forgotten it and became completely different, just like everyone else. But
now I have returned to it again. And right now, notice, I have written: “Never
again dare, want, or desire to remake people.” And in quotes, I list them: all
these different people whom many judge — they don’t need to be remade;
they need to be accepted as they are.
And I also thought that perhaps because I realized this — precisely while I
was in flight, on the plane, and then for a few days afterward as I kept replaying
it all in my head, remembering how I used to perceive the world, how I did
for the last 10 years, and how I have become now, during these days. And
I’m just like, wow, I’m in shock, I’m simply in shock. And if we’re talking
about this “polishing” of oneself, so that the world no longer touches you,
and so that you are glad for it and it for you, then you need to resolve this very
question within yourself — the one I have just described.
And there is another interesting moment. Imagine: I have a dream today.
I am in a restaurant, and there is a bar, a bar counter. It’s a very bright
restaurant, many people in respectable suits — something very aesthetic, quite
pompous. It turns out to be my friend’s restaurant, and he pours me a whiskey.
I’m sitting at the bar, watching how his restaurant operates, I take a sip,
and then I see the bartender pour it down the sink and set a glass of some
kind of juice in front of me. He says to me: “Forgive me, but we are such
a serious restaurant that alcoholic beverages cannot be consumed here.”
I look at him and say: “Listen, start looking for a job, or better yet, just
leave my city” — I’m threatening him like that. I leave the restaurant,
which is in some business center, take the elevator down to the first floor,
and there is a large hall where you have to go down a staircase. As I am
descending the stairs, suddenly some kind of devil — an evil man in black, but
he was specifically a devil — appears. He was like, you know, in the TV series
Smallville, in the later seasons there was this new actor, not very handsome,
Everything was so magical; people wanted to confess to me, everyone wanted
to talk to me, and they told me everything about themselves — the bad
and the good — knowing that I wouldn’t hurt or judge them like those angry
people who are always trying to fit everyone into some category of “bad” or
“good.” Imagine, I was already like this, and I suddenly realize that I had
forgotten it and became completely different, just like everyone else. But
now I have returned to it again. And right now, notice, I have written: “Never
again dare, want, or desire to remake people.” And in quotes, I list them: all
these different people whom many judge — they don’t need to be remade;
they need to be accepted as they are.
And I also thought that perhaps because I realized this — precisely while I
was in flight, on the plane, and then for a few days afterward as I kept replaying
it all in my head, remembering how I used to perceive the world, how I did
for the last 10 years, and how I have become now, during these days. And
I’m just like, wow, I’m in shock, I’m simply in shock. And if we’re talking
about this “polishing” of oneself, so that the world no longer touches you,
and so that you are glad for it and it for you, then you need to resolve this very
question within yourself — the one I have just described.
And there is another interesting moment. Imagine: I have a dream today.
I am in a restaurant, and there is a bar, a bar counter. It’s a very bright
restaurant, many people in respectable suits — something very aesthetic, quite
pompous. It turns out to be my friend’s restaurant, and he pours me a whiskey.
I’m sitting at the bar, watching how his restaurant operates, I take a sip,
and then I see the bartender pour it down the sink and set a glass of some
kind of juice in front of me. He says to me: “Forgive me, but we are such
a serious restaurant that alcoholic beverages cannot be consumed here.”
I look at him and say: “Listen, start looking for a job, or better yet, just
leave my city” — I’m threatening him like that. I leave the restaurant,
which is in some business center, take the elevator down to the first floor,
and there is a large hall where you have to go down a staircase. As I am
descending the stairs, suddenly some kind of devil — an evil man in black, but
he was specifically a devil — appears. He was like, you know, in the TV series
Smallville, in the later seasons there was this new actor, not very handsome,