Page 140
Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2026 12:56 pm
And I begin to send him music — I was listening to music in headphones. And the music that was strongly stealing my attention, I begin to send to him, in order to record the algorithm — that the matter is not in the musical tracks themselves, but in the sequence, which one is first, which second, third, fourth, fifth, so that later, if I switch it on, this state would return. And he begins to listen to the music too, and connects to me even more.
What’s curious is something else. My female friend, who stayed at my place with her boyfriend — the ones I had checked in — writes to me that she is in some kind of “cosmos,” and she doesn’t understand what is happening to her. She supposes that it’s probably because she is at my home, and that it’s probably because of some things of mine. And I say:
— No, it’s simply because of me.
— How can that be — what is this?
— I don’t know.
But I understand that when I start communicating with her, this gets amplified in her and in me.
And I understand that all this switched on because, in the evening on January 20, I had arranged with her for them to come and visit me. And because of this, such a chemical reaction took place. It is some kind of connection. It really is some kind of connection. And she described almost word for word the same thing I am feeling. After this I call Big Alexander and tell him all of it. He is in shock that I am feeling like this, that the whole world is in my head — that this is correct, this is how it should be, and this is wow. I say:
— Listen, it seems to me that this is, after all, because of this girl.
— Yes, quite possibly, that’s exactly how it is. You see, this is not some kind of love, infatuation, and daze, the way it is with people — it should be like a place of power.
— Yes, — I say, — it is like a place of power, as if I were standing in some kind of holy place — my body dissolves, my thoughts disappear, but at the same time there is a crazy clarity, and it’s as if the whole world is in my head. Imagine — such a reaction.
— Well, that’s exactly it — this is how people should complement each other.
What’s curious is something else. My female friend, who stayed at my place with her boyfriend — the ones I had checked in — writes to me that she is in some kind of “cosmos,” and she doesn’t understand what is happening to her. She supposes that it’s probably because she is at my home, and that it’s probably because of some things of mine. And I say:
— No, it’s simply because of me.
— How can that be — what is this?
— I don’t know.
But I understand that when I start communicating with her, this gets amplified in her and in me.
And I understand that all this switched on because, in the evening on January 20, I had arranged with her for them to come and visit me. And because of this, such a chemical reaction took place. It is some kind of connection. It really is some kind of connection. And she described almost word for word the same thing I am feeling. After this I call Big Alexander and tell him all of it. He is in shock that I am feeling like this, that the whole world is in my head — that this is correct, this is how it should be, and this is wow. I say:
— Listen, it seems to me that this is, after all, because of this girl.
— Yes, quite possibly, that’s exactly how it is. You see, this is not some kind of love, infatuation, and daze, the way it is with people — it should be like a place of power.
— Yes, — I say, — it is like a place of power, as if I were standing in some kind of holy place — my body dissolves, my thoughts disappear, but at the same time there is a crazy clarity, and it’s as if the whole world is in my head. Imagine — such a reaction.
— Well, that’s exactly it — this is how people should complement each other.