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[Alexandr Korol]

And further on he says: “You are simply afraid that…” — actually, not “afraid,” he put it somehow differently, not “afraid” — it isn’t fear, but something else — “you do not want to lose your freedom — after all, this deprives you of freedom.” “But you are also afraid of being left alone, because you think you are alone, and you find loneliness unpleasant — but that isn’t so.”

And I must decide: do I, after all, want to be alone and free, or to take on such responsibility and choose the world of family? And what’s most interesting is what he emphasizes — that is, there is no longer the topic of my having to choose someone, of my looking for some bride, of there being some options. No — it’s as if all that has already been decided: there, please, she fits. The question here is something else now: not who fits me or doesn’t fit me, but do I even need this or not? And right now this is the exam I am passing through. Big Alexander says that I have climbed up the ladder all the way to the top — the ladder I am walking — but everyone always falls off it. And in order not to fall off, I must take a step back, so as to remain on this ladder. That is the riddle he gives me.

How do I take this going forward? I understand it like this — let’s put it humorously: if you are to be the chief Mason, you have to be above people, that is, your attention has to be fully free. You have to come to know everything and, consequently, to free yourself from everything, and your attention is fully free, and you are above people. And the world of people consists of the sun and the moon. The world of the moon is people who are the lost ones. And in the world of the moon, it’s very interesting: in the world of the moon, where people have scattered attention and are eternally tempted by something — there is always not enough for them. These people in the world of the moon even build families — there are families there too — but your wife or your husband still thinks about other husbands and wives, because there is always not enough for them. That is the world of the moon — that is scattered attention. And the world of the sun is interesting — that is why you are not in the social mass, that is, not in the world of the moon, but in the world of the family, in the world of the sun, because your attention is only on the person, and the person’s only on you, and it’s as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist. This is very interesting. Of course, you can interact with some close friends and your mother and father. But if you are in these