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Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2026 2:43 pm
What am I getting at? I needed to describe this state of the child, because I ended up in it 14 days ago, in the literal sense of the word.
In the literal sense — this isn’t just that I watched some film and started feeling like this for a couple of hours; I lived like this for a week. You know — I was this child for a week, and could do nothing about it. But, let’s say, I ended up there unplanned. Then, when I realized that it was very “scary” — that’s again in quotation marks, because how can you even understand anything there when you’re a child, and how can it become scary for you? But purely theoretically — let’s imagine that for a second I suddenly saw myself from outside, understood that if I didn’t take measures right now, I would forget about myself entirely as the one who is the writer Alexandr Korol, and would remain that child forever. And I took measures. And so I was in this state. Everything beautiful. What happened? My whole body, the muscles that had been constricted anywhere — I feel this more in myself personally. That is — when I am in the mind and in the social mass, as a person, and when I think a lot, specifically when I try to structure my book, then from these thought-processes my shoulders begin to rise up, the neck tightens, certain muscles run from the head down, the shoulders, the neck — and all of this, can you imagine, I stop feeling. As if my neck and shoulders had become rubbery or like cotton wool — I don’t even know how to say it. That is — so relaxed, the way I had been only in childhood. Just imagine — and note this parallel too, how it’s connected… Maybe this is the reason they say that, while you’re still a child, you’re all so flexible. It’s connected, in fact, with neural connections, or whatever you’d call it. Well — with the mind and with “without the mind” — it’s connected with this. And from the fact that I was a week “without the mind,” my body became like a child’s. Not visually — I mean — it became super-soft, all the constrictions in the muscles went away. As if I can bend anywhere, and the body doesn’t ache at all, is super-light, as if I had just been born. That is what I started to feel, can you imagine. And all of this is only in our brain.
The days, what’s also curious, went by very slowly. That is — let’s say I’m doing something in this state “without the mind,” in the state of a child, in this happiness, and then I look at the clock, and it’s 11:00 in the morning — and the feeling is that it should be 5:00 in the evening, can you imagine.
In the literal sense — this isn’t just that I watched some film and started feeling like this for a couple of hours; I lived like this for a week. You know — I was this child for a week, and could do nothing about it. But, let’s say, I ended up there unplanned. Then, when I realized that it was very “scary” — that’s again in quotation marks, because how can you even understand anything there when you’re a child, and how can it become scary for you? But purely theoretically — let’s imagine that for a second I suddenly saw myself from outside, understood that if I didn’t take measures right now, I would forget about myself entirely as the one who is the writer Alexandr Korol, and would remain that child forever. And I took measures. And so I was in this state. Everything beautiful. What happened? My whole body, the muscles that had been constricted anywhere — I feel this more in myself personally. That is — when I am in the mind and in the social mass, as a person, and when I think a lot, specifically when I try to structure my book, then from these thought-processes my shoulders begin to rise up, the neck tightens, certain muscles run from the head down, the shoulders, the neck — and all of this, can you imagine, I stop feeling. As if my neck and shoulders had become rubbery or like cotton wool — I don’t even know how to say it. That is — so relaxed, the way I had been only in childhood. Just imagine — and note this parallel too, how it’s connected… Maybe this is the reason they say that, while you’re still a child, you’re all so flexible. It’s connected, in fact, with neural connections, or whatever you’d call it. Well — with the mind and with “without the mind” — it’s connected with this. And from the fact that I was a week “without the mind,” my body became like a child’s. Not visually — I mean — it became super-soft, all the constrictions in the muscles went away. As if I can bend anywhere, and the body doesn’t ache at all, is super-light, as if I had just been born. That is what I started to feel, can you imagine. And all of this is only in our brain.
The days, what’s also curious, went by very slowly. That is — let’s say I’m doing something in this state “without the mind,” in the state of a child, in this happiness, and then I look at the clock, and it’s 11:00 in the morning — and the feeling is that it should be 5:00 in the evening, can you imagine.