Alexandr Korol

and the state I want to return to right now — that is immortality.” But then you are really alone and no one — but that is immortality. And he says: “Yes.” And that’s it — he froze up. And why did I tell him this? Because — just imagine — earlier, somewhere in a book, it was recorded — when I called the mystic-old-man, I told him: “May I imagine something — what I would do in order to become immortal? And you tell me whether that’s so or not? Does it work or not?” And when I imagined this, he said: “Yes.” But I had not told him what I would be doing. And what I had imagined back then — you wouldn’t understand — it’s more precisely the state — that, as it were, I had simply gone off into nowhere, but not in the sense of going somewhere down the street. No. I imagined that I am at my dacha, but I had simply let go of all control entirely — as if a one-hundred-percent relaxation, faith — and I am simply walking around my hill. And then, when I was simply imagining this for him, I was already feeling this energy — how I would feel myself if I had done this, and seen that I am immortal. And so, when I imagined all of this, he said: “Yes.” But what’s interesting is something else: when right now I was for a week in this state, I felt exactly the same way as how I had been imagining myself back then — how I am at the dacha, in the woods, walking around the hill. This is the state of immortality. And that, all the same, I choose to disappear from people, and to become immortal and a solitary one.

But I will not feel loneliness — which, on the one hand, is pleasant. There will not be any kind of loneliness, where there is emptiness in the soul — there won’t be such a thing. Everything will be magical, happiness — only I will forget many things, and will feel myself in this “cosmos.” Or, after all, I will go off into family — but then I will be a person, that is, I will become humanized. Yes — that is also wonderful — there are certain pluses to it. There are heirs, the continuation of the lineage; plus, I am not alone. And maybe also I will be in some kind of happy state — but it’s as if I will, after all, be mortal. And I am still before this choice.

And Big Alexander also hints and says that I have come up against something, and again he speaks about this ladder — that I have climbed up it — and that when I figure out a certain thing right now — the last thing, he says, that remains to be felt — as if either something is right under your feet, or you have to walk up to some kind of wall, to touch something. “And you will understand everything.”