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[Alexandr Korol]

What else, about the state? It turns out — right now, in a couple of words, I must not forget to record into the dictaphone, or to take a photograph, or to record in a note in those moments when I strongly feel myself “without the mind” in this “cosmos.” It does, all the same, intensify or weaken in me depending on the situation throughout the day, let’s put it that way. If there are no stressful, anxiety-inducing situations, and I am alone, not interacting with anyone, then it’s as if I am cooling down, or cooling off. But if I go off somewhere, or have a phone call with someone, something happens right away: some kind of heat, the thoughts switch off, I end up in some kind of timeless state. Right now I am working on this, and I will be recording all of this, will be recording it for myself, in order to add it later on into the eleventh volume of the novel “Alternative History.” I will be recording this algorithm, will be recording what amplifies this, what jams this, in order to learn to regulate it. Well — and there still remains the open question about whether I am alone, or, after all, family. I don’t know — this might drag on for a whole year. Or — the way I had sensations by cycles before. Right now, these sensations by cycles are like this. It is also very strange… I feel one switching-over of a cycle around mid-March. End of March, maybe, mid-March. That is one certain cycle — something is switching over — which means I am making some kind of choice, or am crossing over somewhere, into one of the worlds. And the second cycle is already May. That is about how I sense it. But I have also noticed that only when this state intensifies, the one I am ending up in — “without the mind” — it’s as if it is one and the same line — that I immediately start to fall into memories of that magical version of myself, the way I was back in 2009, 2010, and the middle of 2011 — when I was that magical one — and these memories begin to appear. And they appear at the moments when I am ending up in this state.