— Alright — so how am I to be with these people?
— No way. Let them go and that’s it. The system is simply showing this to you,
deliberately arranging it so that you would butt heads with each one of them, and
that you would wave to each one “goodbye.”
— Alright, fine — that’s what I will be saying.
Then we started discussing with him what is happening in the world. He said that
a lot of large-scale things are happening. He said a lot about different countries,
about what is waiting for which country — but I won’t specifically talk about this
for now, so as not to frighten anyone. I told him that right now I am on pause
before the choice — observing, looking at everything. And I tell him that I see
these kinds of people, that this is happening. After all, I haven’t decided what
to choose: family or going off into nowhere. I haven’t made this choice, because
it isn’t just that you can take and make a choice with the mind. You have to
understand why you made this choice — you have to realize it — that is, something
must be highlighted as the one option, and no other way. And right now the scales
have tipped more towards loneliness. That is — “loneliness,” that’s just what I’m
calling it now — towards the option of being alone. Because all my discoveries
were when I was alone in the “corridor.” All the wonders, the abilities, were
when I was alone. And even this very power, this world. I would sometimes even
be a little afraid and run away from this magical world, and would jam myself,
simply by surrounding myself with earthly people, so as not to end up there. And
sometimes, on the contrary, I’d go off there again. But still — it is what is dear to
me. But this is only, I’m saying, 10% of the scales has tipped right now — that I
don’t need a family. But I am still observing and reflecting.
And Big Alexander said that one mustn’t confuse the terminology — what “lonely”
is, what “loneliness” is. He says:
— A lonely person — that’s if you went off to the woods, to your dacha, and
would sit there alone. That’s a lonely person, and that’s loneliness. But the
fact that you aren’t starting a family, while at the same time you share your
world with people, you inspire people, write books, help your relatives, your
friends, support everyone — where is the loneliness in that? That isn’t loneliness,