Page 383
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:11 am
It is all the same happening not from the mind, but nature itself is leading me —
what I must do, and when. And everything is falling into place this way right now,
with these days, with today, with tomorrow. And it’s as if, in theory, I must vanish.
And what I’ll finish writing — it’s needed that the remaining team of people
make a book out of it, and this will be the last volume, the eleventh. And I must
again go off where I came from — or more precisely, become who I was. All of
this — that is the star. That is the state — to go off into nowhere, to disappear, to
let everything go. That is — that’s it — there will be no connection with me. I don’t
know whether I will resolve to do this — whether it will be today, tomorrow, or the
day after tomorrow. So far, by the dates, I had been picturing that I will definitely
still be here until mid-March. And here Big Alexander is hurrying me — that it
is needed almost right now. But this is harsh, a bit scary. Just imagine — without
even preparing — I have to drop everything… if I disappear, then everything I
have — it won’t disappear — my relatives, my friends, my deputies will be taking
care of this — they will, after all, have to somehow figure out that the book
needs to be sent to print, put up for sale or published, translated into English.
They will probably figure out how to do this, and figure out where to get money
from me to do all of this — and not wait for me. And it’s as if I am still there, my
attention is — and I need to take it away from there too. From everywhere I need
to take my attention away. That is the kind of thing that is happening right now.
We’ll see how it happens.
If I record one more date — March 3, 2026 — then I, as it were, must now arrive
at that state which God showed me back then, when I was listening to the music
“Beautiful Lie” by the artist YOAV. When he showed me that, as it were, the
whole world is talking or thinking about me, but I am not there. And if I now do
what Big Alexander is asking of me, if I succeed in this, then what will happen
is — all people will be in my head, but I am not there. But all of them are, as
it were, thinking, or feeling, more precisely, in my head. I have to do this.
There is nothing scary or supernatural about it — but all the same, it’s scary to
do something like this. We’ll see whether I resolve to do something like that
or not — and when it will, in the end, happen. But it will happen all the same.
The question is — when.
what I must do, and when. And everything is falling into place this way right now,
with these days, with today, with tomorrow. And it’s as if, in theory, I must vanish.
And what I’ll finish writing — it’s needed that the remaining team of people
make a book out of it, and this will be the last volume, the eleventh. And I must
again go off where I came from — or more precisely, become who I was. All of
this — that is the star. That is the state — to go off into nowhere, to disappear, to
let everything go. That is — that’s it — there will be no connection with me. I don’t
know whether I will resolve to do this — whether it will be today, tomorrow, or the
day after tomorrow. So far, by the dates, I had been picturing that I will definitely
still be here until mid-March. And here Big Alexander is hurrying me — that it
is needed almost right now. But this is harsh, a bit scary. Just imagine — without
even preparing — I have to drop everything… if I disappear, then everything I
have — it won’t disappear — my relatives, my friends, my deputies will be taking
care of this — they will, after all, have to somehow figure out that the book
needs to be sent to print, put up for sale or published, translated into English.
They will probably figure out how to do this, and figure out where to get money
from me to do all of this — and not wait for me. And it’s as if I am still there, my
attention is — and I need to take it away from there too. From everywhere I need
to take my attention away. That is the kind of thing that is happening right now.
We’ll see how it happens.
If I record one more date — March 3, 2026 — then I, as it were, must now arrive
at that state which God showed me back then, when I was listening to the music
“Beautiful Lie” by the artist YOAV. When he showed me that, as it were, the
whole world is talking or thinking about me, but I am not there. And if I now do
what Big Alexander is asking of me, if I succeed in this, then what will happen
is — all people will be in my head, but I am not there. But all of them are, as
it were, thinking, or feeling, more precisely, in my head. I have to do this.
There is nothing scary or supernatural about it — but all the same, it’s scary to
do something like this. We’ll see whether I resolve to do something like that
or not — and when it will, in the end, happen. But it will happen all the same.
The question is — when.