and people began to feel themselves in the same way, as if they were looking at
everything from the outside, at the whole world. And sort of, they had a job, and
studies, and parents, and friends, and a relationship — but it was as if this didn’t
steal their attention. And so that is what it is. And so it turns out — back then,
everyone who sensed this in those years was sensing me, that version of me.
And then I connected my attention to the social mass, when I started to settle
in with attachments — that is, with the rhythm of people, with communicating
with them, with planning something with them, working, collaborating, being
in a relationship. And right now, on the contrary, this very same system is taking
all of this from me — so that I would free myself from all of this and become no
one, nothing, zero in a complete vacuum. And I must do this.
Maybe this is a preparation right now — because this preparation has been
traceable over the last six months. Maybe this will happen almost today, maybe
tomorrow. Or I will keep putting it off. But Big Alexander said that the time has
come, that it’s time. There is also this approach here — that in the first place this
concerns only me — that is, by no means does anyone need to do anything. And
there is also this moment — that one cannot prepare for this. If I now prepare for
it, go withdraw money — because how am I going to pay for everything, having
thrown out the phone? — but one mustn’t prepare with the mind. One mustn’t
prepare for anything. That is — this must be, in theory, like “dying” — that, if I
were to die today, after all, I wouldn’t have known it, after all, it would have been
sudden. And everyone wouldn’t have known. And consequently, that doesn’t mean
that everything is lost. Somehow my employees and relatives would have figured
everything out that had been under my attention. They would have figured it out —
they wouldn’t have gone anywhere. And what is needed is this trust, to release
attention in such a way. And this must be only in the head. But for practice — in
order to do this, in order to push myself towards it — one has to really take and
simply go off somewhere into nowhere, without telling anyone. And that’s it. And,
consequently, no messengers, no social networks, no connections with anyone.
Simply go off into nowhere. And then immediately something will happen and
take place. If, in some way physically, in the primitive, limited human language,
one is to explain and describe this — well, that’s how I am describing it right now.