Page 401
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:15 am
Chapter 13. Concert NIN | Leaving
I went to a NIN concert today… The concert began with this track: Nine Inch
Nails — Right Where It Belongs. The concert ended with this track: Nine Inch
Nails — Hurt. Once again, I’m asking you to pay attention to the lyrics of these
songs, to the meaning of these songs. Don’t be lazy — google them, translate
them, study them.
Well — and what shall I share? When close people and friends were asking me
when I would disappear, I would say that it could be at any moment. But that
once I had been to a Nine Inch Nails concert, then I would understand it all for
sure — how, where, and when. And so, on March 9, you could say, five hours ago —
I was at the concert. And as I was watching and listening to the performance,
something clicked over inside me, I had a kind of realization — specifically, a
realization. With the mind, you can think and suppose many things — but to
realize is something else. And what I realized was a moment such that there were
no words or thoughts to it — I simply realized. I couldn’t even express what I had
realized. Only afterwards did I strain my head, to somehow pick words for it.
And even those words I’ll pick now — they aren’t quite right — but I’ll describe at
least somehow what I had realized. I have, as it were, stepped 1% further forward.
That’s what happened to me at the concert.
I came to believe even more in who I am, and in all of this life, and all of this
world, and how all of it is interconnected. I realized, as it were, that everything
I do and don’t do — it really does reflect onto the whole world. And when the
realization happened within me, and something clicked over — even without
doing it in practice yet — I already freed myself even more from the influence of
the social mass. My attention was freed, and clarity opened up even more — how
everything is set up, and what I need to do, or what I need to refuse. As if the path
had been highlighted to me. All the noises in the head, the illusions, the doubts —
all of it went away. All of it went away, and clarity appeared. And during all this
time, I have been feeling myself very unusually… As if my body has again become
light — crazy clarity in the head. There are no thoughts. I suddenly remember
what I had been thinking about over the past week. But again — what you feel
I went to a NIN concert today… The concert began with this track: Nine Inch
Nails — Right Where It Belongs. The concert ended with this track: Nine Inch
Nails — Hurt. Once again, I’m asking you to pay attention to the lyrics of these
songs, to the meaning of these songs. Don’t be lazy — google them, translate
them, study them.
Well — and what shall I share? When close people and friends were asking me
when I would disappear, I would say that it could be at any moment. But that
once I had been to a Nine Inch Nails concert, then I would understand it all for
sure — how, where, and when. And so, on March 9, you could say, five hours ago —
I was at the concert. And as I was watching and listening to the performance,
something clicked over inside me, I had a kind of realization — specifically, a
realization. With the mind, you can think and suppose many things — but to
realize is something else. And what I realized was a moment such that there were
no words or thoughts to it — I simply realized. I couldn’t even express what I had
realized. Only afterwards did I strain my head, to somehow pick words for it.
And even those words I’ll pick now — they aren’t quite right — but I’ll describe at
least somehow what I had realized. I have, as it were, stepped 1% further forward.
That’s what happened to me at the concert.
I came to believe even more in who I am, and in all of this life, and all of this
world, and how all of it is interconnected. I realized, as it were, that everything
I do and don’t do — it really does reflect onto the whole world. And when the
realization happened within me, and something clicked over — even without
doing it in practice yet — I already freed myself even more from the influence of
the social mass. My attention was freed, and clarity opened up even more — how
everything is set up, and what I need to do, or what I need to refuse. As if the path
had been highlighted to me. All the noises in the head, the illusions, the doubts —
all of it went away. All of it went away, and clarity appeared. And during all this
time, I have been feeling myself very unusually… As if my body has again become
light — crazy clarity in the head. There are no thoughts. I suddenly remember
what I had been thinking about over the past week. But again — what you feel