Page 402
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:16 am
mustn’t be taken sharply, mustn’t be understood too literally — so as not to break
firewood — that’s why I never hurry. But the impulses that were being sent to me
over the past week — this isn’t just to disappear, it’s specifically to throw out the
phone and to disappear not temporarily, but forever. As if practically to take and
delete the social networks, throw out the SIM card, the address book — or rather,
the phone altogether — so that everything would be from scratch.
And yesterday in the background I had the TV series “Game of Thrones” playing.
And the Spirit — if the TV or music is on, when needed — highlights to me what
is supposed to steal my attention. You remember how it works, right? Or some
phrase becomes louder. And there in the background, the series is playing…
I’m not really watching it. And suddenly all my attention focuses on a certain
phrase and certain words. As if someone has turned up the volume, where a
man tells a girl that she must be no one and nothing. And why does this girl have
the personal things of Arya. Well — Arya is what the girl was named, the one he
wants to free and make into no one and nothing. And he tells her — why does the
girl seem to want to be no one and nothing, but her things are those of this Arya
personality. And the girl takes all these things and puts them away, so as to free
herself from them. Well — naturally, I took note of this — just as a note, again,
without hurrying. And when today at the concert I realized all this, that moment
which is beyond words, then it all came together and was confirmed even more.
I even remembered the most rare and unique things, the things I had forgotten.
Back in those days, when I was a magical boy and starting to write my first
books, I remember telling one acquaintance, my namesake: “If you want to
awaken, to become spiritual, to step out of the social mass, you have to untie
yourself — that is, get rid of everything, so as to start over from scratch.” And
back then I would advise him that he had to delete his social networks with all
the photos, delete all the messengers, wipe the whole address book, change
the SIM card, change everything. And I remember how his mind — and the
mind is the social mass, that personality which, on the contrary, didn’t suit
him, and which he wanted to free himself from — I remember how his mind
would deceive him, my namesake — that this person didn’t delete his social
network page, but just deleted the friends and the photos, while keeping the page,
firewood — that’s why I never hurry. But the impulses that were being sent to me
over the past week — this isn’t just to disappear, it’s specifically to throw out the
phone and to disappear not temporarily, but forever. As if practically to take and
delete the social networks, throw out the SIM card, the address book — or rather,
the phone altogether — so that everything would be from scratch.
And yesterday in the background I had the TV series “Game of Thrones” playing.
And the Spirit — if the TV or music is on, when needed — highlights to me what
is supposed to steal my attention. You remember how it works, right? Or some
phrase becomes louder. And there in the background, the series is playing…
I’m not really watching it. And suddenly all my attention focuses on a certain
phrase and certain words. As if someone has turned up the volume, where a
man tells a girl that she must be no one and nothing. And why does this girl have
the personal things of Arya. Well — Arya is what the girl was named, the one he
wants to free and make into no one and nothing. And he tells her — why does the
girl seem to want to be no one and nothing, but her things are those of this Arya
personality. And the girl takes all these things and puts them away, so as to free
herself from them. Well — naturally, I took note of this — just as a note, again,
without hurrying. And when today at the concert I realized all this, that moment
which is beyond words, then it all came together and was confirmed even more.
I even remembered the most rare and unique things, the things I had forgotten.
Back in those days, when I was a magical boy and starting to write my first
books, I remember telling one acquaintance, my namesake: “If you want to
awaken, to become spiritual, to step out of the social mass, you have to untie
yourself — that is, get rid of everything, so as to start over from scratch.” And
back then I would advise him that he had to delete his social networks with all
the photos, delete all the messengers, wipe the whole address book, change
the SIM card, change everything. And I remember how his mind — and the
mind is the social mass, that personality which, on the contrary, didn’t suit
him, and which he wanted to free himself from — I remember how his mind
would deceive him, my namesake — that this person didn’t delete his social
network page, but just deleted the friends and the photos, while keeping the page,