Page 408
Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:17 am
because all the mythological heroes were dying then. And back then I was taking
it too literally — back before the fifth volume, before I came to know death. And
back then Big Alexander told me a thousand times that no one had died, that the
tsars had all gone somewhere — the tsars of Petersburg — and that Alexander
the Great hadn’t died either, but had gone somewhere, had become some kind
of elder. He said that they had all left. Maybe that is how it works — that for the
old reality, they died, but they left for another reality, and went on living there.
So that’s how it is.
You could even suppose that I’ve just caught this moment, this instant of some
realization — from which there has been more faith, and I have moved a step
further forward. But maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and back off again, and for
some more time — maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe three — this preparation
of mine, for the transition over there, will drag on. And the eleventh volume
will still be getting written. Or these are my last words. All of what I’m saying
right now — these are already reflections that I’ve birthed in words by sheer
effort. But in general, the realization that happened at the Nine Inch Nails
concert wasn’t about all of this. It was specifically about who I am, and what
this world is. I realized and believed even more — that if I now start, from a
blank slate, to make a new world, then so it will be throughout the whole world.
That is — I saw even more that I am everything around me, and that everything
I do reflects out.
But one has to be very pure in order to control this. Because a person has
uncontrollable desires, instincts, thoughts. Let’s say — a person reacts sharply
to the noise of a neighbour behind the wall. And just imagine — if this person is
the main, the first link, from which everything spreads to the world — that is, this
person is God — then if he reacts to the noise of the neighbour behind the wall,
then the whole world of people also reacts sharply to things like this. But if we
tell this God-person not to react, but to think only about the good, he still cannot
control this. And in order to control it, one has to be no one and nothing — to be
zero. And then every action is aware, considered, and is immediately an action
for the whole world.
it too literally — back before the fifth volume, before I came to know death. And
back then Big Alexander told me a thousand times that no one had died, that the
tsars had all gone somewhere — the tsars of Petersburg — and that Alexander
the Great hadn’t died either, but had gone somewhere, had become some kind
of elder. He said that they had all left. Maybe that is how it works — that for the
old reality, they died, but they left for another reality, and went on living there.
So that’s how it is.
You could even suppose that I’ve just caught this moment, this instant of some
realization — from which there has been more faith, and I have moved a step
further forward. But maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and back off again, and for
some more time — maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe three — this preparation
of mine, for the transition over there, will drag on. And the eleventh volume
will still be getting written. Or these are my last words. All of what I’m saying
right now — these are already reflections that I’ve birthed in words by sheer
effort. But in general, the realization that happened at the Nine Inch Nails
concert wasn’t about all of this. It was specifically about who I am, and what
this world is. I realized and believed even more — that if I now start, from a
blank slate, to make a new world, then so it will be throughout the whole world.
That is — I saw even more that I am everything around me, and that everything
I do reflects out.
But one has to be very pure in order to control this. Because a person has
uncontrollable desires, instincts, thoughts. Let’s say — a person reacts sharply
to the noise of a neighbour behind the wall. And just imagine — if this person is
the main, the first link, from which everything spreads to the world — that is, this
person is God — then if he reacts to the noise of the neighbour behind the wall,
then the whole world of people also reacts sharply to things like this. But if we
tell this God-person not to react, but to think only about the good, he still cannot
control this. And in order to control it, one has to be no one and nothing — to be
zero. And then every action is aware, considered, and is immediately an action
for the whole world.