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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2026 8:24 am
opposite direction. Right now, on the contrary — the main thing with me is that
I am socially-material, that is, a person — and I look in there from time to time.
But then I get thrown back into the material world all the same, and I record and
describe all of this. So that’s the news.
Everything else the voice said, I don’t want to mention right now in the book,
because there are times and deadlines involved, and I just want to wait, to see
and check. That is, I can, of course, hint at it and record it for the history —
because, after all, my whole novel “Alternative History” is built in the format
of a first-person diary. So as a diary, of course, I’ll record that the voice told me
something else about relationships. I’m just recording this for the future. And
the voice also told me about a certain trip, about a certain country I will have to
travel to. But I don’t know when it will happen — maybe it won’t even be this year.
Because you know that the biggest trap in all of this — when someone predicts
something, whether it’s me, or Big Alexander, or the mystic-old-man — the only
thing we’re always wrong about is time. Because it’s very hard to understand:
is it now, or is it in a month, or in a year, or in ten years.
So there are also several more moments: about relationships the voice told me
something, and he also told me about a certain trip, about a certain country,
which I can’t yet talk about, and about deadlines — and I want to check whether
this will be or not. Everything comes down to this trip, but until I know when
I’ll fly there, I’ll be the old version of myself, the one I am right now. As if I’m
sitting at a crossroads, as if the choice hasn’t been made yet. And if I decide on
this trip, on when and where to fly, then a new cycle will begin right from that,
and a definite choice will have been made, and a new stage of my life will begin.
But the question is whether this will be this year, or next year, or in ten years.
I don’t know.
The voice also told me something else that’s very unusual — when I was asking him
why I hadn’t fully disappeared, why something is still holding me back, and when
I would fully disappear, go off into nowhere, and become nothing — that when
it happens, that’s it — I won’t come back. And right now these attempts, they are
needed, and there will be even more of them, but the voice also said that I owe
I am socially-material, that is, a person — and I look in there from time to time.
But then I get thrown back into the material world all the same, and I record and
describe all of this. So that’s the news.
Everything else the voice said, I don’t want to mention right now in the book,
because there are times and deadlines involved, and I just want to wait, to see
and check. That is, I can, of course, hint at it and record it for the history —
because, after all, my whole novel “Alternative History” is built in the format
of a first-person diary. So as a diary, of course, I’ll record that the voice told me
something else about relationships. I’m just recording this for the future. And
the voice also told me about a certain trip, about a certain country I will have to
travel to. But I don’t know when it will happen — maybe it won’t even be this year.
Because you know that the biggest trap in all of this — when someone predicts
something, whether it’s me, or Big Alexander, or the mystic-old-man — the only
thing we’re always wrong about is time. Because it’s very hard to understand:
is it now, or is it in a month, or in a year, or in ten years.
So there are also several more moments: about relationships the voice told me
something, and he also told me about a certain trip, about a certain country,
which I can’t yet talk about, and about deadlines — and I want to check whether
this will be or not. Everything comes down to this trip, but until I know when
I’ll fly there, I’ll be the old version of myself, the one I am right now. As if I’m
sitting at a crossroads, as if the choice hasn’t been made yet. And if I decide on
this trip, on when and where to fly, then a new cycle will begin right from that,
and a definite choice will have been made, and a new stage of my life will begin.
But the question is whether this will be this year, or next year, or in ten years.
I don’t know.
The voice also told me something else that’s very unusual — when I was asking him
why I hadn’t fully disappeared, why something is still holding me back, and when
I would fully disappear, go off into nowhere, and become nothing — that when
it happens, that’s it — I won’t come back. And right now these attempts, they are
needed, and there will be even more of them, but the voice also said that I owe