and that’s all. And I still stand on these heightened vibrations of mine. So, what
I experience — this is unusual. And I immediately remembered childhood, that
I often used to have this before, and I simply wouldn’t keep up the conversation.
Well, I’d react gently, I didn’t say that it was bad or that the person was bad, by
no means — I was the Spirit, after all. I’d simply say that everything’s fine, or it’ll
all work out, well done. Or they ask me: “We need you to pick exactly the right
color.” And I say: “It’s up to you.” That is, that’s how I always answered, just so
as not to be immersed in it and to remain further in this state of vacuum, of the
Spirit. It’s interesting. That is, this is what I noticed — that I can’t talk. It’s literally
as if I go quiet and don’t even focus, and I don’t do it on purpose, I don’t control
it. That is, it’s as if I can only talk on a topic that exists in the world of the Spirit.
Everything that’s not of these vibrations, I simply don’t hear it, as it were, I can’t
focus. Or I give some very short answer: “As you like,” “Do what you want,” or
“Your choice.” That is, that’s how I answer.
Another of the observations, something I noticed among the recent unusual
things — being with people. That is, if I spend a long time with a person…
And again, this was there in childhood, and now it’s happening again as in
adolescence, when it first appeared. It was already like this, and now it’s
come back again. If I’m now with a person, for example in a hotel room, in an
apartment, in a house I’m with a person, I’m talking with them, and so while I’m
talking with them, it’s as if all my attention is on them, and theirs is on me. As
if the world no longer exists at all, while I’m talking with this person who’s with
me. That’s how it happens. And the point is that when you spend a long time with
a person like that, then this person, and you too, you get really tired from it. You
just want to go off into separate rooms, or one of you goes outside, one stays in
the room, and to somehow take a break, just to come back to yourself, to come
out of this state. As if, if you stay in it a long time, it’ll just come to a boil, as if
even the air temperature heats up. And it’s as if you want to cool down. And to
cool down, you need to be left alone. And then you cool off and even breathe out:
“Phew.” And you can at least come back to yourself and rethink what happened
at all, what you were talking about, and what to even do next. That is, this kind
of thing happens.